‘Ask The Dream Detective’ – from Mimi’s Dream Column for the New Spirit Journal

A 37 year old woman had the following dream:

“I love the TV show ‘Property Brothers’, and have a huge crush on Jonathan Scott. In my dream his younger brother took me over next to a car, and then he leaned over and just started kissing me. I resisted at first because I really like Jonathan, not this guy. But his brother wanted me to give it a chance, so I kissed him back. He didn’t know I liked Jonathan better. I woke up feeling bad because I didn’t really want to kiss him! I want Jonathan.”

The dreamer clarified that brother in the dream was not Jonathan’s twin, Drew, who co-stars with him on her favorite TV show ‘Property Brothers’, but that this was their ‘other brother’. She described the third brother as someone she was not as familiar with since she had seen him on an episode or two of ‘Property Brothers’ but he was not a regular part of the show.

It was interesting that the brother pulled the dreamer over to a car to kiss her. Why did he bring her next to a car, rather than by a tree, or find a little cozy spot somewhere? Cars in dreams are often a symbol of how we get from point A to point B in life. They can represent how we go about reaching our goals, and are often symbolic of careers. The word ‘car’ is even contained in ‘career’, and dreams love word play. While there is no single cut and dry meaning for any given symbol, it can be an interesting exploration to see if a universal meaning fits. In this case it did, as we shall see.

The dreamer described Jonathan as creative, artistic, original, and stylish. I asked her if that description fit any part of herself and she said ‘Yes!’. This dreamer was a clothing designer who longed to create her own clothing line. She had the skills and she had worked in the industry for many years as a technical designer for large companies that paid well, but this type of work did not fulfill her creativity and originality. Now she was between jobs and was getting asked by people she knew to do their mending and alteration projects. Though the projects were not up to her level of skill and talent, people loved her work and pursued her with a lot of ‘interest’, just like the man in her dream pursued her. And just like in the dream, she did not reciprocate the interest, though she conceded and ‘connected’ with them because they wanted her. Kissing can be a metaphor for connection.

The dreamer described this brother as ‘younger and shorter than Jonathan’. Later she did a little internet search to learn more about him and found out he is actually older than the twins Jonathan and Drew! But the dreamer didn’t know that, so her unconscious mind cast him in the role of younger for a reason. In dreams when someone is young it can be an indication of something new that we are starting, or that is newer in our life. Working with private clients was a newer endeavor for her.  When we explored her description of the brother as ‘shorter’ than Jonathan, she said that what she was currently doing for work didn’t ‘measure up’ to what she would love to be doing. The pun fit, and pointed out to her that even though she was being acknowledged and pursued for her talents, what was pursuing her at the time was not what she really wanted. This dream showed the dreamer how she was falling into a role of passivity by of going along with what other people want, rather than exploring what she really wanted.

So why did the dream cast Jonathan’s brother in the role he played in her dream, rather than someone else? She said that the projects she was taking on were ‘related’ to her desired line of work, just not in the form she was really passionate about.

At the end of the dream she said “He doesn’t know I like Jonathan better”. This is symbolic of a lack of communication on her part, and she saw the correlation to the fact that her clients didn’t know that she liked designing better than what she was currently offering them. Through the dream work she came up with the idea that she could let her existing clients know about her designing talents, and possibly have a built in clientele for what she really wanted to do! She could now use the imagery from the dream as a symbol for connecting with what she really wants in life.

Dreams are amazing teachers. They want us to live true to our life purpose. A dream like this is a compass, showing a way to the path of right livelihood, and how to live with authenticity and meaning.

Ask The Dream Detective: from Mimi’s Dream Column for the New Spirit Journal

HEART SURGERY DREAM

A 26-year-old woman had the following dream:

“I was awake and having heart surgery. The man performing the heart surgery had longish hair and I didn’t know him but I know that the heart surgery wasn’t what I wanted and that he was a bad man taking advantage of me. I didn’t want what he was doing to me but I had no choice because he literally had my heart in his hand and now I needed him to replace it or put it back. He replaced it with I think another heart or the same one I’m not sure and attached it into my chest. He attached it on my right side not my left. When it was over I was walking through hallways. The heart was beating very strong. As I looked down the heart (on the right side of my chest) was protruding. It was still under my skin but it was pumping out of my chest. I had to hold it in my hands, kind of covering it in order to protect it.”

For this dream we are going to take a special look at how language can play a role in understanding the meaning of our dreams. As always, dreams are usually more symbolic than literal, and it is when we get caught up in the literal that we get stuck in a limited view of the dream. Language is a reflection of our experience, and in this case it will help us to access the dream’s symbolism and meaning.

In the dream a bad man is doing something to the dreamer that she doesn’t want him to, and he’s doing it to her heart. Does this sound like anything familiar, outside of actual heart surgery? I don’t need to go very far before you can connect the meaning yourself, and realize that this dream was not about the physical act of heart surgery, but symbolic of her emotional experience in a past relationship. When looking at the dream through this lens, we can re-examine the language she uses:

• “(It) wasn’t what I wanted”
• “He was a bad man taking advantage of me”
• “I didn’t want what he was doing to me”
• “I had no choice because he literally had my heart in his hand”
• “Now I needed him to…put it back”
• “I had to hold (my heart) in my hands, kind of covering it in order to protect it.”

In waking life the dreamer had been in an abusive marriage, and though she had left him some time ago she recently made it official by filing for divorce. She was in the process of taking back control of her life and described herself as the happiest she has ever been.  At the time of this dream she was in a new, much healthier relationship, and studying for a career that she feels passionate about. So why then, when things are going so well, would she have a dream like this?

Even though filing for divorce was a very empowering maneuver, it caused some of the old painful feelings she experienced during the marriage to resurface. And though she had done a lot of healing, she was still in the process of fully reclaiming her heart. In the dream she states that she needs the man to “put it back” – ’it’ being her heart. She was still reclaiming the final pieces of her own heart after being wounded in the painful marriage. When she described the heart protruding from her chest and her need to protect it, though she found the imagery a little disturbing she also marveled at her ability to protect herself despite what had happened! It also gave her a new level of awareness as to how she might navigate the new relationship in a way that didn’t cause her to block her heart from the love that was now available to her.

The fact that she was awake during the surgery may be symbolic of her realization that she was awake, i.e. aware, of what was happening in the bad marriage as it was taking place. A dreamwork technique known as re-scripting can be very helpful here. This involves re-writing the dream story to have a more favorable outcome for the dreamer. If she were to imagine a new story line for this dream she might consider the fact that since she was awake she could stop the man entirely from performing the surgery in the first place. This could then become a great personal symbol and example for how to stop negative situations and relationship patterns from happening, by not putting her heart into the hands of people who do not hold her best interest. In this way she would be protecting her heart in an even more effective manner than at the end of the dream, so that the damage to her heart does not occur in the first place. Examining who she shares her heart with, and connecting with her ability to exercise personal power and say ‘No’, can play a huge role in solidifying her new ability to bring healthier and happier people and relationships into her life, and keep the toxic ones out.

As always, our dreams love us and want the best for us in all areas of life, especially when it comes to love and relationships. Pay attention to the messages from your dreams, they are one of the best inner guidance systems we have.

People often wonder when they dream of being romantic with someone, does it mean it will really happen? Whether it is an ex, a co-worker, or someone they have a crush on, this question can be very perplexing. The more intense or vivid the dream, the more it bothers us. It can also make us feel very awkward next time we see the person from our dream, even though they have no idea about it!

Kissing and sexual intimacy in dreams are symbols of connection and passion. So we look at who the dreamer is connecting with and what qualities that person represents to them. Then the dreamer can contemplate whether they currently are, or would like to be, connecting with those traits within themselves or in their life.

Sometimes these dreams can be about rehearsing what it’s like to be physically intimate with someone, and especially young adults will experience this before their first kiss. Whether or not it will happen with the person they dreamed about is not necessarily determined by the dream. However there are many documented cases of someone dreaming about their future partner before they actually meet them. This is not the most common thing, but it has happened many times, and I wonder if more people remembered their dreams perhaps we would hear even more cases reported.

Sometimes we dream of making out with someone we would never consider as a partner (casual or long-term) in waking life. We may even find them the complete opposite of attractive! At least on the surface. Whether the person is someone you know, a celebrity, or something in between, look at what that person represents to you and how you might be connecting with those traits (the ones you like) within yourself.

Many romantic dreams have nothing at all to do with actual romance. In that case look at what the dream has to say about your other passions in life such as your creativity or life purpose. Other dreams that do not contain elements of romance with another might actually have profound and meaningful insights about our relationships. The dreaming mind wants us to be happy and fulfilled, to live our purpose, and to love deeply. Listening to their messages can enhance both our quality of life and our relationships with our selves and with others.