Shared dreams, also known as mutual dreams, are when two or more people share a dream experience at the same time. The degree to which the dream is shared can vary, from having common elements or events that happen in each person’s dream to the entire dream being the same. The experience is known by different names including mutual dreams, shared dreaming, dream meshing, or linking. Shared dreams can happen spontaneously, or can be incubated and planned, and are most common between people who are emotionally close such as couples, siblings, parent-child, or best friends. Twins may be especially prone to shared dreams, though it may happen between complete strangers as well. We may not hear about this as often, since the strangers would have to later meet and compare their dreams. Following are some of the ways in which this fascinating phenomenon may manifest.

One person is having a dream – already in progress – when another person suddenly pops in, invited or uninvited. The second dreamer (the one making the ‘guest appearance’) may have had the first person strongly on their mind before sleep, and may or may not have any conscious awareness of the dream visitation, let alone remember the encounter the next day upon waking. Similarly, the first person – who was just minding their own dream business – may or may not remember the visit by their guest who popped in.

People often ask when they dream of another person, does it mean that person really came to visit them, or was that person thinking or dreaming of them, too? This is an especially common fascination when the person we dream about is a love interest or former partner with whom we wish to rekindle. While not the norm, nor highly likely, it actually is possible. Often these types of dreams will reflect our feelings about the person in the dream. The dream may outline relationship dynamics, or the person may even represent a part of our own psyche. One distinguishing characteristic that may provide a clue as to the nature of visitor (actual person’s consciousness vs. dream character) is the ‘popping in’ effect, or interrupted quality of a dream that is already happening. This has been a documented phenomenon in psychic dream research, as well as after death visitation dreams, and is one of the markers of a visitation type experience. Intuitive signals are also commonly described as thoughts, feelings, or visions that ‘pop’ into our consciousness in the same manner. One way to verify would be to check in with the other person, which may or may not be possible especially if the other person does not recall any dreams from that night. This still does not rule out the possibility of the occurrence.

MESHING

Meshing refers to the basic level of shared dreams where some of the elements overlap, but the entire dreams of the different people are not exactly the same. The dreams may share common characters, settings, or story lines, which the dreamers may or may not have had actual waking life experience with.  Sometimes sharing a common waking experience can contribute to dream meshing. For example, if two people watched the same movie one night and then both dreamed about some of the characters or settings. Or perhaps they shared an experience, such as going to a museum, and both dreamed about some of the things they saw or experienced at the museum but the entire dreams were not exactly the same. Meshing dreams may be incubated by sharing an experience, then talking about it before sleep, and finally intending to dream about the experience.

MEETING

Meeting dreams are where two or more people interact in the dream world and communicate with each other. This experience is less common than meshing dreams, and it does imply telepathic communication between dreamers. I have experienced this personally, and will share one story to illustrate. My sister and I were on a camping trip, sleeping in the same tent near each other. I woke myself up by talking in my sleep…and then my sister answered me. I thought ‘oh how embarrassing, I fell asleep while we were talking!’, but as I gained wakeful consciousness I looked over and she was actually fast asleep. I tried saying something else to her, curious if she would respond again from her sleeping dream state, but this time she did not. I later learned that being in the same brainwave state may be conducive to facilitating these types of experiences. When we have R.E.M. dreams we are predominantly in the alpha brainwave state, and when we wake up beta brain waves usually take over. This theory fits with my experience that we were able to talk in our sleep (both being in alpha brain waves), but when I woke up I was no longer ‘reaching’ her as I was in a different brain wavelength state.  The next day I asked her if she remembered any dreams. She said yes, and told me the first half of the dream. When it matched exactly what I had dreamed, I stepped in and finished the dream by telling her the rest of it as I had experienced it. She said ‘how did you know?!” I explained to her how I woke up and we were sleep talking together, so I suspected we were sharing a dream and now it was confirmed.

SHARED & PRECOGNITIVE

In the dream my sister and I shared, there were some people and experiences that actually happened the next day! We both dreamed of meeting brothers, and both of us dreamed a specific name of one of them, and the next day we met these people; even the name was confirmed. This is not a common feature of shared dreams but I mention it to show the layers possible with any type of unusual dream phenomena.

GROUP DREAMING

Group dreams are the same as meshing or meeting dreams, but with more than two people partaking in the experience.

SHARING DREAMS WITH ANIMALS

While I have mentioned that shared dream experiences may happen between two people, or even a group of people, it can also happen between people and their animals! Again, one of the facilitating factors of shared dreams, or any type of telepathic sharing, is a close emotional bond. So it makes sense that people who share a close bond with their animals might also share dreams with them. A woman had a dog who she called Leo because to her he looked like a little Lion. One night she dreamed that she was in her living room, and there was a little lion (about the size of her dog!) sitting on her couch, playing with a toy. As she woke up, her dog was making funny sounds and appeared to be also dreaming. He woke up shortly, and proceeded to venture straight out to the living room, jumped up on the couch, and looked as though he were searching for something in the exact spot the woman saw the little lion playing with his toy. While we cannot ask the dog what he was dreaming about, it seems likely they were dreaming of the same thing, each from their own perspective of human and animal. Another man was away on business and left his dog with a friend. The plan was for the dog to stay in the house with her. But one night he dreamed that his dog was in a barn with farm animals. He called his friend the next day, and she told him that his dog had escaped from the house the night before and spent the night in the barn!

INTENDING TO SHARE A DREAM

While any of the above types of shared dreams can occur spontaneously, they can also be intended. As mentioned regarding meshing dreams, sharing an experience, talking about it before sleep, and intended to share a dream can help facilitate mutual dreaming. If people wish to meet in a dream, it’s a good idea to choose the place where you want to meet before going to sleep. It could be somewhere familiar to you, that you know and love, or somewhere you’ve never been. Once you choose the place, you can also pick a code word that you will say to each other. This is not necessary, just a technique if you should chose to use it. As you are each drifting off to sleep, really focus on the meeting place, the other person, your connection with them, what you’d like the interaction to be like, etc. If you find your mind meandering on to another topic, redirect your focus back to the meeting place, the person, the feelings you wish to have, and so on. When you wake up, have each person record their dream independently of the other, either via a recording device or by writing it down. Then you can verbally compare notes, but since the nature of dreams are slippery and they do fade away from us quickly I recommend recording independently first so as not to influence each other’s recounting, but also we may capture details that we may later forget.

Because of the fact that so many people do not remember their dreams, and even vivid dreamers rarely recall every dream from every night, I believe the types of experiences described in here, as well as many other psi dreaming phenomena, may be occurring a lot higher rate than we imagine.

If you have a shared dream experience, or any dream that you would like to consult with Mimi, visit the consultation page for more info.

Here is an example of a woman who had a mutual dream with her ex-boyfriend. The dreams were not exactly the same, but there was definite overlap and they happened at the same time. For this one, I am sharing some of the question and answer process so you can see a dream session in action.

Amy sent in this dream:
2 nights ago, I had a dream in which I was running through a dark house being chased by my ex boyfriend. I ran in a room and tried to close the door and could not, and yelled out “What do you want from me?!” Just then a scary voice I said “I want you” I instantly woke up and experienced what I now know is sleep paralysis.  Less than a minute later my phone rang and it was my ex boyfriend! He apologize for the phone call at 2:30 a.m., however he said that he had to call me to be sure I was okay. He said he woke up from a dream that felt real, in which I was falling from a cliff and he was trying to grab me to save me, however I fell to my death.  What does this mean?
~Amy

Mimi:
Do you have a sense for what this dream means to you?

Amy:
I have absolutely no idea. I somewhat feel that I was wanting to get away from my ex boyfriend and move on, however him having the same dream or similar dream at the same time is what concerns me. I dreamed something was grabbing me and I was getting away, he dreamt that he was grabbing me and trying to save me at the same time.

Mimi:
What was going on in your life at the time you had this dream?:

Amy:
I recently broke up with my boyfriend about 2 months ago and moved into my own house he wants to get back together however I do not.

Mimi:
What was the main feeling in the dream? :
My dream was absolutely terrifying.

Mimi:
What you had was a shared or mutual dream with your ex. It is not uncommon amongst people who have emotional ties (couples, siblings, parent/child etc). Just because you had this experience does not mean you should get back together with him, it just means you guys still have an open line of mental communication. If you look at the energetic dynamic, in his dream he is saving you, in your dream you feel terrified, and you want to get away.  From what you have described, this reflects the actual dynamic between the two of you, where he wants to come after you but you want to get away. I am very pro-relationship in general, but the fact that you felt terrified is your own consciousness telling you how you really feel about him at the time of the dream.
Sometimes things seem ‘fine’ on the surface, but our dreams bring to light what is really going on underneath the surface. So I’m not saying this dream means never get back together with him, or that he is a bad person – after all, he was trying to save you in his dream…however your feelings are important to consider. Perhaps they were a reflection of how you felt in the moment, and that can change.  But the fact that you found the dream absolutely terrifying is of concern.
Listen to your instincts always about who to surround yourself with. I hope this helps.

Hypnogogic State – The transitional, twilight state between being awake and falling asleep. In this state it is common for paranormal phenomena to occur, including auditory and/or visual hallucinations, out of body experiences, sleep paralysis and sleep paralysis attacks.

Hypnopompic State – Same as the hypnogogic state, except this term refers to the transition from sleep to waking.

Out of Body Experience (O.B.E.) –  When a person’s consciousness leaves the body and is able to observe the physical surroundings such as the bedroom they are in.  This may also involve travelling around, yet still viewing the physical surroundings as we know them in waking reality.

Near Death Experience (N.D.E.) – (a form of O.B.E.) A person may be pronounced clinically dead, only to later come back to life later.  Many will report conversations they overheard (for example between surgeons at the operating table if they died in a hospital) that are later confirmed, and the person would have had no way of knowing this information otherwise. This brings up the interesting and fascinating distinction between mind and brain, as consciousness (mind) is surviving without and beyond the death of the physical matter (brain).

Astral Projection –  When consciousness leaves the physical body and travels, similar to an Out of Body Experience, but the travel is through a more dream like, other worldly realm.

Lucid Dreaming – Becoming aware of the fact that one is dreaming during the experience of having a dream.  For more information read Robert Waggoner’s fascinating book “Lucid Dreaming”.  For more info, go here: https://www.thedreamdetective.com/faq.html#lucid

After Death Contact (A.D.C.) – When a deceased loved one comes to visit us in our dreams.  While some dreams of loved ones who have crossed over are ways of processing our loss, other are reported as feeling very ‘different’ than regular dreams. Some of the hallmarks of A.D.C. dreams are that they feel very real, as if the loved one were actually with the dreamer.  The dreamer may report smelling grandma’s perfume or grandpa’s cigar, and often the dream takes place in the dreamer’s bedroom, which is not the case for most dreams.  Sometimes a dream ‘already in progress’ may be interrupted by the appearance the deceased loved one, who almost always brings messages of comfort and love in any of these scenarios.  Many people also have these dreams of former pets who have crossed over as well.

Shared Dreams or Mutual Dreaming – The experience of having the same dream at the same time as another person.  Usually this occurs between people who are emotionally close such as siblings, close friends, family members or romantic partners. The degree of the ‘shared’ experience may vary from part of each person’s dream being the same (overlapping), to the entire dream being identical for both dreamers.  People sometimes intend for a shared dream experience, visualizing it and agreeing on a meeting spot before going to sleep.

Sleep Paralysis – In R.E.M. sleep our body becomes paralyzed so that we don’t physically act out what we are dreaming about, as this could be very harmful to our self and others.  When we wake up the paralysis releases, however sometimes there is a ‘glitch in the system’ where the paralysis takes a little longer to release.  Becoming conscious and finding that the body is paralyzed can be a terrifying experience that about 20-30% of the population will experience at some time. However, it usually resolves itself and is nothing to be afraid of.

Sleep Paralysis Attacks – A phenomenon that sometimes occurs during the state of sleep paralysis, where the dreamer reports a visitation. The visitor is most often described as either a dark, shadowy figure, or something know as ‘the old hag’, who is reported to look something like a Halloween witch. This phenomenon has been reported all over the world through out history.  Researcher David Hufford wrote a book about this called ‘The Terror that Comes in the Night’.

Nightmares – Scary dreams that often will wake us up with a pounding heart and covered in sweat.  These are R.E.M. dreams and are important to pay attention to when working through life’s difficulties.  If a nightmare relives a trauma and repeats with no progression or resolution over time, this would indicate a P.T.S.D. nightmare and professional guidance with an experienced professional is recommended.

Night Terrors – Different than a nightmare, these do not occur in R.E.M. sleep, but rather in stage 4, or the deepest, non-dream sleep. Often night terrors cause the sufferer to scream out loud, but upon waking they will have no recollection of any kind of dream or what happened.

Daydreams – A relaxed state (similar to a hypnotic trance) where creativity, imagination, problem solving and learning consolidation occur.  As part of our circadian rhythm (similar to the 90 minute cycles between R.E.M. dreams when asleep), we have a natural tendency to daydream about every 70-120 minutes through out the day.

Precognitive Dreams – Dreams that pick up on potentials for the future that may or may not play out. There have been reports of people who have had a precognitive dream and later recognized a dangerous situation in waking life because of the dream.  They were then able to make a course correction to prevent the potential negative outcome because the dream provided them with the warning and awareness to do this.

Clairvoyant Dreams –  A dream during which the dreamer is able to witnesses an outside event (happening in waking reality) at the same time it is actually occurring.

Empathic telepathy –  Similar to a clairvoyant dream, except that instead of witnessing an event as an outside observer during the dream, the dreamer experiences the event as if it were happening to them – in a sense assuming the identity of someone that the waking life event is actually happening to.