Episode 18 – Relationship Dreams (part 1): Love, Sex, & Romantic Desires in Dreams SUBSCRIBE: Spotify | Apple | Pandora | Google | Stitcher | Tune In | Castbox | RSS In this episode Mimi explores some of the most common relationship dream themes, including:

• romantic dreams of an ex
• when your partner cheats in a dream and you wake up mad at them – versus when you cheat in a dream!
• the difference between sexy-time dreams of someone you’re attracted to vs. someone you’re not attracted to
• romantic dreams of a future partner
• interrupted connections

You will also hear what a dream of a broken cat patio had to say about a dreamer’s relationship! Kay’s dream was read by Dustin of the ‘So You’re Getting Older’ podcast: https://anchor.fm/getting-older Enjoy this clip from the episode:

Ask The Dream Detective: from Mimi’s Dream Column for the New Spirit Journal

HEART SURGERY DREAM

A 26-year-old woman had the following dream:

“I was awake and having heart surgery. The man performing the heart surgery had longish hair and I didn’t know him but I know that the heart surgery wasn’t what I wanted and that he was a bad man taking advantage of me. I didn’t want what he was doing to me but I had no choice because he literally had my heart in his hand and now I needed him to replace it or put it back. He replaced it with I think another heart or the same one I’m not sure and attached it into my chest. He attached it on my right side not my left. When it was over I was walking through hallways. The heart was beating very strong. As I looked down the heart (on the right side of my chest) was protruding. It was still under my skin but it was pumping out of my chest. I had to hold it in my hands, kind of covering it in order to protect it.”

For this dream we are going to take a special look at how language can play a role in understanding the meaning of our dreams. As always, dreams are usually more symbolic than literal, and it is when we get caught up in the literal that we get stuck in a limited view of the dream. Language is a reflection of our experience, and in this case it will help us to access the dream’s symbolism and meaning.

In the dream a bad man is doing something to the dreamer that she doesn’t want him to, and he’s doing it to her heart. Does this sound like anything familiar, outside of actual heart surgery? I don’t need to go very far before you can connect the meaning yourself, and realize that this dream was not about the physical act of heart surgery, but symbolic of her emotional experience in a past relationship. When looking at the dream through this lens, we can re-examine the language she uses:

• “(It) wasn’t what I wanted”
• “He was a bad man taking advantage of me”
• “I didn’t want what he was doing to me”
• “I had no choice because he literally had my heart in his hand”
• “Now I needed him to…put it back”
• “I had to hold (my heart) in my hands, kind of covering it in order to protect it.”

In waking life the dreamer had been in an abusive marriage, and though she had left him some time ago she recently made it official by filing for divorce. She was in the process of taking back control of her life and described herself as the happiest she has ever been.  At the time of this dream she was in a new, much healthier relationship, and studying for a career that she feels passionate about. So why then, when things are going so well, would she have a dream like this?

Even though filing for divorce was a very empowering maneuver, it caused some of the old painful feelings she experienced during the marriage to resurface. And though she had done a lot of healing, she was still in the process of fully reclaiming her heart. In the dream she states that she needs the man to “put it back” – ’it’ being her heart. She was still reclaiming the final pieces of her own heart after being wounded in the painful marriage. When she described the heart protruding from her chest and her need to protect it, though she found the imagery a little disturbing she also marveled at her ability to protect herself despite what had happened! It also gave her a new level of awareness as to how she might navigate the new relationship in a way that didn’t cause her to block her heart from the love that was now available to her.

The fact that she was awake during the surgery may be symbolic of her realization that she was awake, i.e. aware, of what was happening in the bad marriage as it was taking place. A dreamwork technique known as re-scripting can be very helpful here. This involves re-writing the dream story to have a more favorable outcome for the dreamer. If she were to imagine a new story line for this dream she might consider the fact that since she was awake she could stop the man entirely from performing the surgery in the first place. This could then become a great personal symbol and example for how to stop negative situations and relationship patterns from happening, by not putting her heart into the hands of people who do not hold her best interest. In this way she would be protecting her heart in an even more effective manner than at the end of the dream, so that the damage to her heart does not occur in the first place. Examining who she shares her heart with, and connecting with her ability to exercise personal power and say ‘No’, can play a huge role in solidifying her new ability to bring healthier and happier people and relationships into her life, and keep the toxic ones out.

As always, our dreams love us and want the best for us in all areas of life, especially when it comes to love and relationships. Pay attention to the messages from your dreams, they are one of the best inner guidance systems we have.

Many of our night time dreams have to do with love and romance. But when we translate their meaning to waking life understanding, they may have everything (or nothing!) to do with our relationships to other people. This workshop will explore the most common dream themes we have regarding love, lust, relationships, sexuality, romance, and our connectedness to ourselves and others. You will learn the universal meanings of these dream themes, as well as how to understand what the dreams mean for you, specifically. We will also look at how our dreams can help us with our relationships, whether or not the dreams appear to be about them. Presented by MIMI PETTIBONE

 http://eastwestbookshop.com/events/7274

Do you know your Love Language? Better yet, the love language of those most important to you? If you understand what makes your loved one(s) feel more loved, you can better express your feelings in ways that mean the most to them. Here is a summary of the 5 Love Languages, from the work of Dr. Gary Chapman

Words of Affirmation:
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

Quality Time
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

Receiving Gifts
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.

Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

Physical Touch
This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

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From http://www.5lovelanguages.com

One of the most common questions I hear goes something like this:  “I dreamed of my ex, does it mean I should get back together with them?”  Or, “Does it mean that they are thinking of me too?”
While I never rule out the mysterious and mystical ways of the dream world, and I do believe that anything is possible….The most common explanation is: This dream most likely has NOTHING to do with your ex.  It might, like I said, and do the fact checking with the other person should your heart pull you in that direction.
At the same time, keep in mind that what the dream is most likely bringing to your attention are the feelings you had in the dream, and your dreaming mind might be saying ‘hey, remember what this feels like? Wouldn’t it be nice to have again?’
Not all dreams of former loves come with pleasant feelings, however.  If the feelings are unpleasant or difficult, look at where in your life you might be currently experiencing those same challenges with another person. Perhaps you are responding to a new person in the same way you responded to the ex in the dream.  Or maybe they are behaving towards you in a way that the former partner did. These are some possible explanations to explore.

“When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. ”

-Jimi Hendrix

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

– Rumi