While the goal of a fictional vampire is to harvest blood from their victim, energy vampires (aka emotional vampires) are after our life force. They often start off with flattery, doing nice things for us, or they may shower us with gifts or attention. Then all of a sudden they pull a switch and become controlling, criticizing, or display an over developed sense of attachment. They may even play the ‘victim’ and attempt to get you to rescue them.

The controlling type may do something that seems nice such as offer you a ride to the airport, or make you dinner. But if you refuse they get angry. Getting you to do what they want (controlling you) is how they are ‘fed’ energetically. When you say ‘no’ it upsets them as they don’t get their ‘fix’. Do what you can to resist their suggestions and commands. When you resist enough, they will move on to another host.
The criticizing style will put you down, and aim to inflict emotional and/or psychic pain to you. It’s not necessarily conscious on their part. But unconsciously they know that if they can hurt you, inflict some pain somehow, they can get you to bleed energetically. The life force that leaks out of you when you receive the pain is the ‘blood’ they feed on. If you try to explain to them how they just hurt you, they will put you down for it. Try not to let them hurt you (or don’t show it) as that is how they are fed.
The type of vampire that is emotionally over-attached, or plays victim, will be after you for emotional support. They may try to get you to favors for them or act on their behalf. They may even try to borrow money, or just talk your ear off with their problems, but yet they will not accept any solutions. Their favorite game is ‘yes, but…’ They may try to get your on their side (when there really is no ‘side’ to take) or become jealous. Their main goal is trying to create a feeling of intimacy (though obviously not in a healthy way), as this is how they feed. Avoid rescuing them, and set firm limits with your time and boundaries. For the chronic talker, interrupt them and redirect the conversation.
Sometimes we can be our own worst vampire! Having internalized voices from our past, our own inner critic may take over and harvest our energy, sucking the life out of us internally. Changing our thought patterns and redirecting them to self love is key. Find what lights you up internally and generate as much of that as possible.
Situational vampires can be such things as a job that does not fit your true nature.  Going against your instincts and doing what you think you ‘should’ be doing, rather than what fits who you truly are, can truly drain the life force from a sensitive soul. Follow what literally ‘lights you up’ to generate more chi.
Most energy vampires are not acting consciously. They are wounded souls who have learned that the only way to get any energy is by taking it from others. They need to learn how to get their nurturance from source, their own life; not from you.

SIGNS YOU HAVE BEEN DRAINED BY AN EMOTIONAL VAMPIRE:
•    You feel tired and exhausted after being around them
•    Feeling cheated, resentful, anxious or shut down after being around them
•    Experience the feeling of being ‘slimed’
•    Loss of mental energy
•    Physical strength decreases by as much as 50%
•    Weight gain due to binge eat to relieve stress from being drained by another person. A binge on comfort foods is an attempt to feel better or ‘get your energy back’. Someone has just fed on you, now your instinct is to be fed. But it’s not really food we need, it is protection from the energy sucker.
•    Inability to think clearly
•    Short term memory declines
•    Exposure can take a day or weeks to recover

According to the research of Dr. Joe H. Slate, Ph.D., Kirlian (aura) photography shows that during an attack the emotional vampire reaches out to the victim via a tentacle like structure that then punctures and draws energy from the victim’s aura. This expands the vampire’s aura, showing as increased light in the Kirlian photography, and constricts the victim’s aura decreasing their light aka energy. The ‘puncture wounds’ can then take days or weeks to heal. Long term effects of prolonged exposure can cause serious illness in the victim.
Dr. Gillian Holloway echoes a similar sentiment: “Sadist (energy vampire) attacks seem to leave lasting scars, and one of them can be a reduced ability to ‘hold a charge’ as the mystics say. Physical conditioning and breathing meditations can build up your ability to hold your own energy in a powerful way, and to get used to feeling powerful again.” Here are some more tips on how to regain power.

STRATEGIES FOR DEALING WITH EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES:
•    Say no to the favors they offer
•    Do not rescue the
•    Redirect the conversation
•    Breath deeply
•    Resist their suggestions or commands
•    Stay emotionally neutral; they are trying to get you to react as it feeds them
•    Say “I’m sorry, but I can only talk for a few minutes”
•    Say “I hate to interrupt, but…” then interrupt them
•    Say “Thank you for your suggestion, I’ll consider it”. Then do what you want.
•    Move around while they are talking to you
•    Avoid eye contact
•    Do not replay their attacks in your mind
•    Try not to hurt when they attack; it feeds them
•    If you are able, do some physical exercise as it moves energy through the body
•    Set firm limits and boundaries
•    Speak loudly, firm and clear
•    Stay centered and calm

ENERGY WORK:
•    Imagine yourself surrounded by an impenetrable bubble of white light that protects you
•    Talk to them in your mind, for example: “I am in charge of my energy, and you cannot have it.”
•    Imagine their energy in the shape of a ball. Push the ball away from you and send it back to them.
•    Cut the psychic/energetic chords between you
•    When we are drained our energy travels upward (i.e. ‘riled up’ vs. ‘calmed down’). Imagine a bird whose feathers get ruffled, as a metaphor for how this person has riled up your energy. Now imagine the bird’s feathers smoothing down, as your energy calms down and you are able to center and rebalance yourself.

Mimi Pettibone is a Certified Transactional Analysis Practitioner who specializes in dream interpretation, relationships and communication skills. She offers classes and consultations in Seattle, WA and offers private consultations by phone as well. Mimi host bi-monthly telephone dream groups, where members engage in a group process of dream exploration. To join the telephone dream group, go to www.meetup.com/DreamGroup and click ‘join’ to receive calendar updates of upcoming groups and events and to RSVP.

A woman has the following dream:

“I am in an elevator, and it’s going down. A man is in the elevator with me. He is invisible, but I can sense him. He grabs my foot and flips me onto my back. He starts sucking on my toe, and as he does my foot disappears into thin air. He continues to suck, and now my leg gradually disappears. It’s like he is an invisible vampire, sucking my blood, and as my blood disappears, so do I. Although I see this and I am aware of what’s happening, I do not stop him.”

Vampires in dreams can represent people or situations that are sucking the life force right out of us. While the goal of a fictional vampire is to harvest blood from their victim, energy vampires (aka emotional vampires) are seeking our life energy.
In this dream the metaphor of ‘going down’ can hold double meaning both sexually, and it can represent a situation that is ‘going down’ (or going poorly). The actions of the man flipping her on her back, and sucking, could also be interpreted as sexual. At the same time, he is literally sucking her into non-existence! She is disappearing right in front of her own eyes, and he is causing this to happen. Through working with the dream it was confirmed that the man was symbolic of someone who was acting as emotional vampire in her life. This woman was in a very unhealthy sexual relationship with a man who was ‘sucking the life’ out of her. While part of her was aware of this, another part of her chose to continue seeing him and be in the relationship.
In working with this dream, the part that stood out to her the most was the ending where she was aware of what was happening yet she did not stop him. She came to the realization that not only was he draining her energy, but she felt like she was losing herself and her identity in the process  – i.e. she was ‘disappearing’! This was so concerning to the dreamer, and the dream provided such a clear outline, that she chose to end the relationship immediately.
It is common in vampire dreams to experience some kind of ambivalence, such as wanting to help the person, even liking them in some way, but also knowing they are bad for us and wanting to get away from them. This can be reflective of an addictive type of relationship. It is also reflective of how it can feel to be around someone who is an emotional vampire. They can lure us in with flattery, seduction, gifts or a sense of being needed. Then they switch, and go in for the ‘kill”; aka the feeding process of draining someone else’s life force to add to their own.
Some dreams that could show up when dealing with emotional vampires are: dreams of actual vampires, dreams of blood loss, and dreams of losing parts of the body. Emotional wounds often show up as physical wounds to the body in dreams. Someone attacking us emotionally during waking life may show up as someone attacking us physically in the dream state.
Other dreams that could show up when someone is psychically draining or invading a person could be: dreams of a home invasion, losing a purse, being stalked, or someone trying to kill us. I say this with caution as any of these dreams could also be about many other things!  When working with dreams it is always important to check with the dreamer to see what personal meanings and associations they hold, what is going on in their life, and what the symbols and metaphors mean to them. That said, it is not uncommon for nightmares to happen when we re being energetically drained or manipulated by someone. Our dreaming mind will always call attention to the care of the soul that is needed for a healthy life.
While some symbols hold a common meaning, such as vampires being negative creatures who suck the life out of us, they can also vary depending on the dreamer and the dream. Here is an example of another vampire dream, where the vampires actually save the day. The dreamer titled this one ‘Magical Vampires’:

“I am at a big party. The hosts are playing some kind of a game with the guests, unbeknownst to the guests. The game entails the host dancing with a guest, leading them backwards toward a window, pretending to ‘dip’ them, but them purposefully dropping them out the window where they fall to their death.
Now the hosts are doing it with 3 people at a time. I am observing the whole thing in horror. However, the next 3 ‘victims’ are actually magical vampires in disguise! When the hosts go to drop them out the window, the vampires float down the side of the building, only to return flying in the air like some kind of power trio. They are very magical and powerful and it is clear that they are going to use their powers to stop the evil people from killing any more.”

This dream shows the vampires in a role of ‘saving the day’ with their magical powers. Mere humans could not have pulled of such a feat! In this story, the energy the vampires hold is life affirming. Through working with the dream we realized that the vampires represented part of the dreamer that she did not realize existed. She was dealing with some very toxic people, and was finding her own power and ways to respond in the situation that felt so good it was akin to having ‘magical powers’.
I give this dream as an example to never assume, always check with the dreamer. Also look at the story line, plot, actions and feelings. The tones of the two dreams are entirely different, giving the first major clue as to the nature of what is going on with the dreamer.
In the next article we will look at types of energy vampires, and tips for how to deal with them.

Mimi Pettibone is a Certified Transactional Analysis Practitioner who specializes in dream interpretation, relationships and communication skills. She offers classes and consultations in Seattle, WA and offers private consultations by phone as well. Mimi host bi-monthly telephone dream groups, where members engage in a group process of dream exploration. To join the telephone dream group, go to www.meetup.com/DreamGroup and click ‘join’ to receive calendar updates of upcoming groups and events and to RSVP.
Happy dreaming!