‘Ask The Dream Detective’ – from Mimi’s Dream Column for the New Spirit Journal

A 37-year-old woman had the following dream:

“I had a dream that Ryan Gosling (I have the hots for him) and I went to see one of his films together. I think it was directed by Quentin Tarantino. It didn’t get very good reviews.”

Sometimes people say they don’t remember much of a dream, and therefore it must not be worth interpreting. This is so not true!  Even a fragment of a dream can hold jewels of information. And while this dream is relatively short in recounting, there is a lot to it. The story starts off very promising with the dreamer seemingly on a date with her celebrity crush. However, when we delved into it, the deeper meaning revealed itself to offer some sound relationship guidance.

The dreamer described actor Ryan Gosling as someone she had a big crush on. She found him incredibly attractive and he embodied a lot of traits she thought she was looking for. We searched for a parallel feeling in her waking life, and sure enough she had been dating a guy who at first seemed like her dream man. And just like with Ryan Gosling, she was quite smitten with him when they started dating.

We then explored the setting of the dream: here she was with a person, watching a big screen, featuring that same person! This caused the dreamer to reflect “it seems like it’s all about him!” At this point she had a ‘click’ as she connected another similarity to the man she was currently dating. Though she started off with stars in her eyes for this man, she slowly started to realize that he was behaving rather selfishly, especially when it came to his time and how much (a.k.a. how little!) he was willing to spend with her. He would also make comments such as that he didn’t want her to be needy regarding his time for her, yet when he left town for a business trip and neglected to contact her, he said that he felt like he had abandoned her. Which he did! Making comments that he didn’t want her to act needy was a bit of a manipulative ploy, an attempt to deflect her from placing any requests upon him or even from expressing any wish she might have for quality time together. Unfortunately, she bought into it by quelling her feelings and her instinct to communicate her desires with him.

The dreamer had another awareness; her boyfriend from the previous year also displayed selfish behavior, to the point that it caused her to break up with him. The dream not only showed her the current relationship dynamic, but a long-standing relationship pattern. The dreamer reached some insights about her accommodating nature, and how she often did not speak up and get her needs met in relationships. This kept her in unbalanced relationships longer than necessary, but the message was finally getting through and this dream was one way in which the message was delivered.

We also looked at the part of the dream where she states that the movie “didn’t get very good reviews”. I asked what she thought of Quentin Tarantino, or his work in general, and she said she was not a fan and thought he was a bit immature. Once she realized her current love interest’s selfish and immature nature, she did not give the relationship very good reviews either – despite the initial attraction! It’s funny that we use the word ‘attraction’ to describe movies as well as our feelings toward love interests.

Finally, the dreamer described Ryan Gosling in waking life as “somewhat unobtainable”. She realized that though she had been dating the current man for several months, he was showing himself to be emotionally unavailable, a.k.a. ‘unobtainable’ for a long term committed relationship.

While the bursting of any relationship bubble can be disappointing to say the least, it is by pulling back the curtain of illusion and being willing to face the truth that we can reach authentic levels of relating. This can also save us from immeasurable and ongoing emotional pain. And while it’s easy to blame another person, as in ‘he’s not available’, it is most valuable to look at our own part in the relationship dynamic. In this case the dreamer had the wonderful insight that while she thought she was being nice by behaving in an accommodating way towards her partners, she realized that she was actually depriving herself of expressing her truths, and in the process denying her partner the chance to get to know her authentic self.

Having awareness of our relationship patterns is the first step in transforming their energies. Owning our part in the dance allows us to take our power back and focus on the only side of things we have any dominion over, which is our own. Changing our patterns allows us to transform our own energies and make room for more balanced relationships, not only with other people, but within ourselves. Our dreams are always a reliable compass in this process.

‘Ask The Dream Detective’ – from Mimi’s Dream Column for the New Spirit Journal

A 57 year old woman had the following dream:

“My boyfriend’s soon to be ex-wife was running after me with a machine gun. I could hear the bullets whizzing by me and I was so scared. I thought to myself ‘I have to zig zag’, as if I’d heard somewhere that this was a good way to avoid getting shot. Then I ran into a hospital to get safety. I was trying to catch my breath but I knew she was still after me. I went into a patient’s private room, and I got into bed with the patient. I said to him ‘Protect me, protect me, somebody is trying to kill me!’ I was fraught with fear and emotion and I pulled the covers over my head. I could tell he was a sick man, but I kept thinking ‘I’m going to be protected here’. After I laid there for a while I felt safe, so I finally got out of the bed and I noticed some purple nail polish. I said to the man ‘So what is your name?’ and he answered in a very deep, masculine voice ‘Jacqueline’. I asked ‘Oh, so do people just call you Jack?’ I was challenging him as I could see he was a man. He said ‘No, it’s Jacqueline’. It was then I realized he was gay and wanted to be feminine, so I decided that rather than challenge him I would honor him. I said ‘Let’s paint our nails’. We started painting our nails and doing girly things. Then I felt safe and was able to leave the hospital.”

This dream starts with the dreamer being chased, which is one of the most common dream themes of all times. The perpetrator usually represents something or someone that feels like a threat to us. Whether or not they actually pose a threat, it is the feeling that matters. In this dreamer’s waking life, she did not feel physically threatened by her partner’s ‘soon to be ex-wife’, but the fact that they were not yet fully divorced felt like an emotional threat to the dreamer’s own relationship with this man. Stress triggers the fight or flight response, which then gets spun into a dream story. In this case rather than fight, the dreamer took flight by running in a zig zag pattern and dodging bullets. Dreams also love puns and plays on words, and every time the topic of the divorce came up, this dreamer felt like she was ‘dodging bullets’ as it was a sensitive topic with her partner.

In the dream, she took shelter in a hospital and climbed into bed with a patient. This turned out to be symbolic of her ability to find sanctuary from the perceived threat by retreating into a healing place within herself. This is a very good sign of self-care. The sick man represented an aspect of herself that needed healing, but that also could facilitate healing by providing a safe space.

When she asked the man his name and he told her it was Jacqueline, she wanted to challenge him by drawing attention to the fact that he was really a man, not a woman as the name implied. This is reflected in her response of “Oh, so do people just call you Jack?” When he asserted that his name was, in fact, Jaqueline instead of Jack, she realized he was gay and had a change of heart. Instead of fighting him regarding his orientation she decided to not only embrace it, but support it, by painting their nails together and ‘doing girly things’.

The dreamer shared that she had been doing personal growth work around becoming less masculine in her primary relationship with a man, and allowing herself to be more feminine. She had traditionally asserted a lot of masculine energy in a way that had created imbalance in relationships for her. She wanted to try a new way of being by embracing more of her feminine energy. The dream so poignantly put this into visual and verbal representation in the character of Jacqueline, the feminine man! Just like in the dream, at first the dreamer had a hard time accepting that her familiar masculine characteristics could become more feminine. However, she eventually not only connected with, but embraced, her own feminine energy in a loving and supportive way, just like in the dream.

The dreamer had some waking life ‘aha’ moments after we worked with the dream. She said that shortly after the dream she went to a store to browse around and came across some nail polish. She found a bottle she liked in a purple color. Only after she picked it out and decided to purchase it did she remember the purple nail polish from the dream! Though she did not consciously pick out the polish based on the dream, it was at this point that she realized the connection. That afternoon she was meeting with a friend for his birthday, and this friend happened to be a gay man. She had learned a new technique for applying nail polish that she wanted to share with him, so she decided to give him the polish as a present and show him the new technique. When they got together she gave him the polish and painted his nails for him.

The dreamer was not consciously paying tribute to the dream by doing this, in fact she said that at the time she wasn’t really thinking about it at all. Only later when we worked with the dream did it click as she put all the pieces together. She said she felt very comforted by the fact that her waking life was mirroring her dream life (or vice versa). She described the feeling it created as giving her a sense of connection to another world.

Was the dream a premonition, or did the dreamer subconsciously re-enact some of the dream? That is subject to speculation, but either way this connection between worlds provided the dreamer with a great sense of comfort, both by bridging her waking and dreaming life and by the meaning the dream provided her with. Now purple nail polish has become a symbol and reminder for her to embrace her feminine energy, and allow Jacqueline to be her true self.

Episode 25 – Exploring Pandemic Dreams with Mimi and Kat (part 3 of 3)

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Join Kat and Mimi as they explore more dreams related to the Caronavirus pandemic. Dreams featured in this episode include: being surrounded by people with no masks coming too close, people with no masks wanting hugs, being trapped in a mall with shooters, a TikTok boy-crush hug, Kat’s dream about her future husband, trying to get people out of the house and a mall, being naked and having to cover up / guests with no masks and no place to hide, a sci-fi movie dream about a colorful plexiglass box with holographic balloons and molecular change, and a woman whose blood has the power to heal.

For more information on Kat: www.kathleenokeefekanavos.com

SUBSCRIBE: Spotify | Apple | Pandora | Google | Stitcher | Tune In | Castbox | RSS This is the second episode in a three-part series where Mimi Pettibone and Kathleen O’Keefe Kanavos explore dreams happening during the coronavirus pandemic. Dreams discussed include health dreams, a spirit guide with a message, the ground crumbling, a lego-man, and follow ups on dreams from episode 23, including Kat’s coronavirus dream and the shark-turned-llama dream. www.thequeenofdreams.com

Ask The Dream Detective: from Mimi’s Dream Column for the New Spirit Journal

A 47 year old man had the following recurring dream:

“In my dream I am on a beach at the ocean. A tidal wave is coming. I think to myself how beautiful it is, and I am in awe of it. But I also know that I’d better get away from it.”

This dream is a classic example of why working with a dreamer’s individual meaning is so important. Before we get to the meaning of his dream, I’d like to ask you to close your eyes and imagine that you are standing on a beach and a tidal wave is coming towards you. How would you feel? What would you do? Most people would be terrified and run for their lives, if they were not already frozen in fear!

Dreams of tidal waves are very common. Water often represents emotions, so this type of dream can indicate that the dreamer is feeling overwhelmed emotionally.  We look to the quality of the water, as well as the emotion the person is experiencing, for clues as to what area of life the symbolism pertains to. Most of us would be fear stricken if faced with such an unstoppable force of nature, and wake up with our heart pounding.

However, this man felt differently. He was in sheer awe of the tidal wave and described how he wanted to just stay and take in its beauty. He did not want to leave, but he knew that for the sake of his own well-being he had better get out of there.

This was a recurring dream the man had been having for 20 years. Recurring dreams happen every time a recurring situation or issue comes up in life, and this is where the detective work comes in. I asked him what had changed or started in his life 20 years ago? He said that’s when he met his wife, whom he had been happily together with ever since.

I then asked him if there had been anything that came up intermittently over the last 20 years, some kind of feeling that might have been a bit overwhelming, where he was in awe of some kind of beauty? He blushed and we both knew the answer. This was a business man who travelled a lot for work, and encountered many different people on his journeys – including a few who’s beauty set him in awe.

Another important piece is to look at is the action of the dreamer. When faced with overwhelming feelings of awe regarding something (or someone, in this case!) of beauty, much as he wanted to stay, he knew he had to leave. This was a loyal man. I knew in my heart at that moment that he had never cheated on his wife, nor would he. The dreaming mind does not lie. While the limbic brain may feel drawn to someone on a primal level, the conscious mind has a choice. This man chose his relationship every time, even in his subconscious mind. It doesn’t get more real than that.

What a love story! This dream also is a great example that what appears on the surface of a dream is not usually the deeper meaning. The dream did not appear to be about relationships – there was no kissing, sex, or romance, not even another person – but yet it was truly about love and loyalty. It also shows that the classic meaning for a dream is not always the case. Tidal wave dreams usually occur when we are feeling overwhelmed emotionally in a negative way. While he was ‘flooded’ with emotion, the feelings were actually rather good!

Our dreams want the best for us, and love in all forms is a high priority in the landscape of the unconscious and of the soul. Sleep well my friends, and may your dreams be filled with love for yourself and others.

 

Many of us will experience a dream that repeats over a period of time in our lives. It might be for only a short while, or for the duration of a life time. The story, characters and setting may be exactly the same each time, or there might be a common theme or plot, with various elements changing each time the dream is experienced.

So why do we have these re-runs during the night? Recurring dreams happen every time a recurring situation or issue comes up in our life. The key to unraveling the mystery of what is causing the dream is to do a little dream detective work. Here are some investigative questions to guide you on the right path:

1. When was the first time you had this dream?
2. When was the last, most recent time you had it?
3. How often does it occur?
4. How do you feel during the dream?
5. How do you feel when you wake up?

Look at the time span from when you first and last had the dream, and consider what was (or is) going on in your life at that time. For example, if the dream started 3 years ago and is still occurring, ask yourself what changed in your life 3 years ago and is still going on today? If it happened between ages 25-30, think about what was going on during those years. Did you start a new job, move, change relationship status or go back to school? Those are major life events, but it could be anything that is significant to you, even something that is on your mind.

The next step is to look at how often the dream occurs. Is it once a week, once a year, or somewhere in between? Tracking down the pattern of the timing may take some more investigative work, but will pay off and is another clue that will point to the source of what is causing this dream for you. For example, if you said you had the dream once a week, and we figured out it was on Tuesday nights, I would ask what you do on Tuesday nights. If you said you go to a book club, we might look at what goes on with the interpersonal dynamics of the group, or your interactions with one person in particular, or possibly even the topic of the book being read. We would then work further to uncover the metaphors and symbolism of the dream, and see how they connect to the recurring waking life event or concern.

Another step is to look at the feelings you had during the dream, which is always an important part of dream work. How you felt during the dream is usually more relevant than how you felt after waking. Upon waking we tend to judge the dream from our rational, logical mind, which is not the language of the dreaming mind. Upon waking we might feel like ‘that was weird’ or ‘I would never do that’ or ‘I’m not attracted to that person in waking life!’ However, we felt differently in the dream. The dream has cast those characters and scripted those actions for a reason, and investigating the symbolism and metaphors behind them, as well as our feelings, will lead to more clues that help us understand what the dream is really trying to tell us.

The messages of our dreams are always in our highest and best interest. They are in alignment with our higher selves, our true life path, and they want us to have the best relationships possible. They will go to great length to get our attention, including bizarre story lines and characters, and repeating a theme until we get the message. Once you have ‘gotten’ the message of a recurring dream, it usually stops! It’s like someone who keeps knocking at your door until you open it. Knock knock…are you ready to listen?

For information on private consultations with Mimi for dream work, coaching, and more, visit the consultation page.

Episode 13 – Health Effects of EMFs with ‘What the EMF?’ Author Risa Suzuki

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Risa Suzuki is the author of ‘What the EMF: How to Protect Your Home from EMF Exposure, Improve Sleep, Reduce Anxiety, and Live a Happier, Healthier Life!’. She joins Mimi today to share how electromagnetic and radio frequency fields can affect our health, including some of the many symptoms and health conditions they can create in our bodies. But don’t worry! Risa also shares tips for how we can protect ourselves from these man-made frequencies to live a healthier life, including real-life before and after stories from some of her own clients. Risa is a certified Building Biology Environmental Consultant who is committed to creating healthy spaces by testing and clearing EMFs and toxins from our everyday indoor environments. Prior to developing her own EMF sensitivities and becoming a Building Biologist, Risa enjoyed a successful career at Microsoft spanning more than twenty-five years. She knows firsthand the importance of balancing how we use technology and managing our health when it comes to EMF radiation. For more info on Risa visit www.risasuzuki.com To enter the contest to win Risa’s book, visit Mimi’s Instagram or Facebook page.

To enter the contest to win Risa’s book, visit Mimi’s Instagram or Facebook page.

SUBSCRIBE: Apple | Google | Stitcher | Spotify | Radio Public | Tune In | RSS Have you ever had a dream that a crossed-over loved one came to visit you? Whether you consider it be their spirit, their ghost, their consciousness, or something else, in this episode we explore this very real paranormal phenomenon. You will hear many visitation dream stories from listeners, and Mimi identifies a number of the common markers that set these dreams apart from others.

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This episode explores two dreams about spooky old houses, one about a magical trip to New Orleans, and Mimi shares a dream of her own about dancing glow-in-the-dark skeletons. We delve into the paranormal, intuition, the creative process, and the experience of sheer delight! Each dream is set to music and explored on its own, and some common threads are revealed as well.

For a full directory of The Dream Detective Podcast episodes, click here.

Music & Voice Credits: 1) “The Old Woman in the House” dreamed and voiced by Lea Sevey, you can find her book ‘Just in Case’ on Amazon. Music: ‘A Severed Head, Speaking’ by Haunted Corpse and ‘Hardwood Lullaby’ by Blue Dot 2) “Victorian Bedroom” dream from Jeanette, voiced by Amber Wolfe with guest DJ Leslie of Seattle Parties Music: ‘Creepy Hallow’ by Alexander Nakarada, ‘Magical Transitions’ and ‘Horrorific’ by Kevin Macleod. 3) “The New Orleans of My Dreams” from Jim Barker of The Divine Hand Palmistry. Music ‘Magical Night’ by Ourmusicbox; ‘Bassline’ and ‘Flight Through Time’ by Devon Trube; ‘Monolithes’ by Lobo Loco. 4) Mimi’s dream, music ‘The Hunger Artist’ by Circus Homunculus recording from 1915-1931.

Ask The Dream Detective: from Mimi’s Dream Column for the New Spirit Journal

HEART SURGERY DREAM

A 26-year-old woman had the following dream:

“I was awake and having heart surgery. The man performing the heart surgery had longish hair and I didn’t know him but I know that the heart surgery wasn’t what I wanted and that he was a bad man taking advantage of me. I didn’t want what he was doing to me but I had no choice because he literally had my heart in his hand and now I needed him to replace it or put it back. He replaced it with I think another heart or the same one I’m not sure and attached it into my chest. He attached it on my right side not my left. When it was over I was walking through hallways. The heart was beating very strong. As I looked down the heart (on the right side of my chest) was protruding. It was still under my skin but it was pumping out of my chest. I had to hold it in my hands, kind of covering it in order to protect it.”

For this dream we are going to take a special look at how language can play a role in understanding the meaning of our dreams. As always, dreams are usually more symbolic than literal, and it is when we get caught up in the literal that we get stuck in a limited view of the dream. Language is a reflection of our experience, and in this case it will help us to access the dream’s symbolism and meaning.

In the dream a bad man is doing something to the dreamer that she doesn’t want him to, and he’s doing it to her heart. Does this sound like anything familiar, outside of actual heart surgery? I don’t need to go very far before you can connect the meaning yourself, and realize that this dream was not about the physical act of heart surgery, but symbolic of her emotional experience in a past relationship. When looking at the dream through this lens, we can re-examine the language she uses:

• “(It) wasn’t what I wanted”
• “He was a bad man taking advantage of me”
• “I didn’t want what he was doing to me”
• “I had no choice because he literally had my heart in his hand”
• “Now I needed him to…put it back”
• “I had to hold (my heart) in my hands, kind of covering it in order to protect it.”

In waking life the dreamer had been in an abusive marriage, and though she had left him some time ago she recently made it official by filing for divorce. She was in the process of taking back control of her life and described herself as the happiest she has ever been.  At the time of this dream she was in a new, much healthier relationship, and studying for a career that she feels passionate about. So why then, when things are going so well, would she have a dream like this?

Even though filing for divorce was a very empowering maneuver, it caused some of the old painful feelings she experienced during the marriage to resurface. And though she had done a lot of healing, she was still in the process of fully reclaiming her heart. In the dream she states that she needs the man to “put it back” – ’it’ being her heart. She was still reclaiming the final pieces of her own heart after being wounded in the painful marriage. When she described the heart protruding from her chest and her need to protect it, though she found the imagery a little disturbing she also marveled at her ability to protect herself despite what had happened! It also gave her a new level of awareness as to how she might navigate the new relationship in a way that didn’t cause her to block her heart from the love that was now available to her.

The fact that she was awake during the surgery may be symbolic of her realization that she was awake, i.e. aware, of what was happening in the bad marriage as it was taking place. A dreamwork technique known as re-scripting can be very helpful here. This involves re-writing the dream story to have a more favorable outcome for the dreamer. If she were to imagine a new story line for this dream she might consider the fact that since she was awake she could stop the man entirely from performing the surgery in the first place. This could then become a great personal symbol and example for how to stop negative situations and relationship patterns from happening, by not putting her heart into the hands of people who do not hold her best interest. In this way she would be protecting her heart in an even more effective manner than at the end of the dream, so that the damage to her heart does not occur in the first place. Examining who she shares her heart with, and connecting with her ability to exercise personal power and say ‘No’, can play a huge role in solidifying her new ability to bring healthier and happier people and relationships into her life, and keep the toxic ones out.

As always, our dreams love us and want the best for us in all areas of life, especially when it comes to love and relationships. Pay attention to the messages from your dreams, they are one of the best inner guidance systems we have.