Episode 30 – Attachment Theory in Relationships with Dr. Diane Poole Heller (part 2 of 2)

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In part 2 of my interview with author, therapist, and adult attachment expert Dr. Diane Poole Heller we talk about how the different attachment styles can affect our dreams, as well as some tips for working with dreams and waking life situations to heal our attachment wounds. We also visit the topic of ghosting, and Diane provides some very valuable insights about why people do this. We look at healing metaphors, and Diane shares some of her own dreams and how they have helped her in her healing journey. For more information on Diane, her books and trainings, and The 2020 Trauma & Attachment Summit (Sept. 30 – Oct. 7, 2020) visit www.dianepooleheller.com

Here is a recap of some of the attachment styles, from episode 29:

AVOIDANT
Adult term is ‘Dismissive’
Left-brain oriented
Likes alone time
Future oriented
Uses few words to describe things or answer questions

AMBIVALENT
Adult term is ‘Preoccupied’
Right-brain oriented
Likes connection and reassurance
Past oriented (may have a hard time letting go of painful history; may also be sentimental)
Uses many words and details to describe things and answer questions

DISORGANIZED:
Adult term is ‘Unresolved Trauma’
Can be Disorganized Avoidant or Disorganized Ambivalent (right or left brain, past or future oriented accordingly)
Language pattern is hard to follow, may stop abruptly, lack of clarity regarding who or what they are referring to

Episode 27 – Update and Dreams

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In this episode Mimi shares some of her own recent dreams, along with how she decodes them and uses their messages to help guide her in her life. Featured dreams include: ‘Forgot to Feed the Puppy’, ‘Marianne Williamson and Maria Schriver House Party’, ‘Fighting Demons’, ‘3 Best Friends’, and ‘Baby Polar Bear and Skunk’.

Episode 25 – Exploring Pandemic Dreams with Mimi and Kat (part 3 of 3)

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Join Kat and Mimi as they explore more dreams related to the Caronavirus pandemic. Dreams featured in this episode include: being surrounded by people with no masks coming too close, people with no masks wanting hugs, being trapped in a mall with shooters, a TikTok boy-crush hug, Kat’s dream about her future husband, trying to get people out of the house and a mall, being naked and having to cover up / guests with no masks and no place to hide, a sci-fi movie dream about a colorful plexiglass box with holographic balloons and molecular change, and a woman whose blood has the power to heal.

For more information on Kat: www.kathleenokeefekanavos.com

On Sunday (May 19, 2013) I took a nap, and had a dream about a TORNADO.  In the beginning of the dream I was in a house; my cell phone rang and it was a guy named John. The reception started breaking up and I looked out the window to see a tornado. I realized I had better take cover. I scrambled all over the house looking for a safe place to hide, but all the rooms had windows, even downstairs, and I couldn’t find a solid closed basement/concrete type room. Pretty soon I saw out a window that we were in the middle of the tornado. The next thing you know I am lying flat on my stomach, and the tornado ripped the house down. I felt shards of glass hitting my head and the wind was whipping my hair with an intense force. I had a coat on and wanted to pull my hood over my head but something told me it wasn’t over yet.  Sure enough, another blow came and completely tore the entire house down to nothing. I felt more glass shards hitting my head, more wind blasting my hair.
I woke up horrified. This dream seemed out of place with how I felt at the time.  It didn’t fit for regular interpretation, and usually I can get that pretty quickly.
I don’t usually watch the news, but tonight (Tuesday night) something made me tune in for a few minutes. I saw the devastation of the tornado that hit Oklahoma on Monday. Just like the dream I had on Sunday afternoon.
Scientists believe that precognitive dreams like this are actually a survival mechanism. If we lived in a tribe and someone had a dream like this, we might actually take it as a warning, and have more time to prepare  and get ourselves to safety.
The key is not to assume all bad dreams are warnings. I think this is why so many people are afraid of dreams; perhaps they have had a ‘warning’ dream, and then become afraid that any and all unpleasant dreams will actually happen. The truth is, all dreams are there to HELP us – whether to prepare us, warn us, or show us potential outcomes, or current life dynamics. Maybe we can’t stop a tornado, but we can do everything in our power to get to safety, and the more notice we have, the better. Other warning dreams may be of scenarios that are indeed preventable. It is important to listen to them, and start to recognize your own dreaming patterns. This one didn’t fit with my life at the time or seem to have a solid ‘interpretive’ value.  That is one clue that it might be an extra-ordinary dream.

This morning I was dreaming of gusting winds and pelting rain. I woke up and actually heard those sounds outside my window  – it turns out there was a pretty bad storm going on out there. My dreaming mind heard those sounds, and incorporated them into my dream, which is a very common phemomenon.
Have you ever woken up to some kind of noise or sound, or even a song on the radio, only to realize that you had also been dreaming about it?