Many of us will experience a dream that repeats over a period of time in our lives. It might be for only a short while, or for the duration of a life time. The story, characters and setting may be exactly the same each time, or there might be a common theme or plot, with various elements changing each time the dream is experienced.

So why do we have these re-runs during the night? Recurring dreams happen every time a recurring situation or issue comes up in our life. The key to unraveling the mystery of what is causing the dream is to do a little dream detective work. Here are some investigative questions to guide you on the right path:

1. When was the first time you had this dream?
2. When was the last, most recent time you had it?
3. How often does it occur?
4. How do you feel during the dream?
5. How do you feel when you wake up?

Look at the time span from when you first and last had the dream, and consider what was (or is) going on in your life at that time. For example, if the dream started 3 years ago and is still occurring, ask yourself what changed in your life 3 years ago and is still going on today? If it happened between ages 25-30, think about what was going on during those years. Did you start a new job, move, change relationship status or go back to school? Those are major life events, but it could be anything that is significant to you, even something that is on your mind.

The next step is to look at how often the dream occurs. Is it once a week, once a year, or somewhere in between? Tracking down the pattern of the timing may take some more investigative work, but will pay off and is another clue that will point to the source of what is causing this dream for you. For example, if you said you had the dream once a week, and we figured out it was on Tuesday nights, I would ask what you do on Tuesday nights. If you said you go to a book club, we might look at what goes on with the interpersonal dynamics of the group, or your interactions with one person in particular, or possibly even the topic of the book being read. We would then work further to uncover the metaphors and symbolism of the dream, and see how they connect to the recurring waking life event or concern.

Another step is to look at the feelings you had during the dream, which is always an important part of dream work. How you felt during the dream is usually more relevant than how you felt after waking. Upon waking we tend to judge the dream from our rational, logical mind, which is not the language of the dreaming mind. Upon waking we might feel like ‘that was weird’ or ‘I would never do that’ or ‘I’m not attracted to that person in waking life!’ However, we felt differently in the dream. The dream has cast those characters and scripted those actions for a reason, and investigating the symbolism and metaphors behind them, as well as our feelings, will lead to more clues that help us understand what the dream is really trying to tell us.

The messages of our dreams are always in our highest and best interest. They are in alignment with our higher selves, our true life path, and they want us to have the best relationships possible. They will go to great length to get our attention, including bizarre story lines and characters, and repeating a theme until we get the message. Once you have ‘gotten’ the message of a recurring dream, it usually stops! It’s like someone who keeps knocking at your door until you open it. Knock knock…are you ready to listen?

For information on private consultations with Mimi for dream work, coaching, and more, visit the consultation page.

If you are ever in need of a creative idea, or find yourself trying to solve a seemingly irresolvable problem, seek no more…you have an unlimited source for inspiration and guidance in the form of your own dreams! Many famous invention, discoveries, literary and musical works have been sourced from the dream world.

One of my all-time favorites is the story of Madame C. J. Walker (1867 – 1919). She was the daughter of former slaves, orphaned at the age of 7, and started working at the age of 10…yet she went on to become the first female self-made millionaire in America! I absolutely love her. She worked as a laundress for many years, earning barely more than a dollar a day, and was a singer in her church where she met some affluent, well-educated African American’s who inspired her to fulfill more of her own potential. Around this time, she also noticed that her hair was falling out and experienced problems with dandruff, which was common with the African American community in those days due in part to the lack of proper hair care products. She tried what was available at the time, but nothing worked. Then one night she had a dream. She later told a reporter that God had answered her prayer, “for one night I had a dream, and in that dream a big black man appeared to me and told me what to mix up for my hair. Some of the remedy was grown in Africa, but I sent for it, mixed it, put it on my scalp, and in a few weeks my hair was coming in faster than it had ever fallen out. I tried it on my friends; it helped them. I made up my mind I would begin to sell it.”

With $1.05 in the bank and working part time as a laundress, she began selling her products door to door. She married a man who helped her with the advertising, however “When we began to make $10 a day, he thought that was enough, thought I ought to be satisfied. But I was convinced that my hair preparation would fill a long-felt want. And when we found it impossible to agree, due to his narrowness of vision, I embarked on business for myself.” By 1908 she had established a training college for her system of hair care and had a national sales force including women who had previously worked as laundry washers, cooks, teachers, and housewives. By 1910 she had 5,000 agents all around the United States, and her business was making $7000 per week.

In 1913, one of her agents wrote: “You opened up a trade for hundreds of colored women to make an honest and profitable living where they make as much in one week as a month’s salary would bring from any other position that a colored woman can secure.” When she crossed over, her obituary said “It is given to few persons to transform a people in a generation. Yet this was done by the late Madam C. J. Walker…[She] made and deserved a fortune and gave much of it away generously.”

Her dream – and the fact that she followed it and took it’s information seriously – affected not only the course of her own life, but empowered and enriched the lives of countless others as well.

If you decide to access the power of your dreams you will be in good company. Einstein, Aristotle, Decartes, Thomas Edison, and Salvador Dali all regularly turned to the dream realm for ideas and answers to problems. Thomas Edison would sit in a chair with a steel ball in his hand, with the intention of drifting off to the twilight dream zone known as the hypnogogic state. He kept the ball in his hand so that when he sank deep enough into sleep his hand would relax and the ball would hit the floor, waking him up so that he could remember and record whatever information he received. Similarly, Salvador Dali held a key in his hand and a kept plate on the ground so that when he drifted off deeply enough the key would clang as it hit the plate, waking him up and giving him conscious remembrance of what he had accessed in the dream world.

In 1865 German chemist Friedrich August Kekulé dreamed of a snake biting it’s tail, revealing to him the true structure of the benzene ring. In 1845 Elias Howe was trying to invent a machine that could sew, but he could not figure out how to get the needle to pick up the thread on the other side of the cloth. Then he had a dream that cannibals were chasing him with spears, and at the head of each spear was a hole. He had been using the traditional model of a needle with a hole in the end, but he had been placing the hole at the heel of the needle, not the head! This dream image gave him the idea to place the hole at the head of the needle, and thus the sewing machine was born.

Songs like Satisfaction by Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones, and Yesterday by Paul McCartney both were inspired by dreams. The stories for Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, and the book and movie series Twilight, all came from dreams.

So next time you think sleep is a waste of time, think again about what you might be missing if you don’t get enough of it! If you’d like to access information in the dream state about a specific topic, see my article about dream incubation and try this before you go to sleep.

Artwork by Punny Pixels

Dreams love the use of puns and plays on words, as well as visually depicting both puns and verbal expressions. When listening to a dream I always have my radar up for any type of pun or imagery that might indicate another layer of meaning. Following are some examples.
A woman dreamed she was kissing a man, and much as she wanted it to be a good kiss his upper was sticking out in such a strange way that it just would not move. This image had her stumped and took some time to decipher. Eventually she said “why would his upper lip be so stiff?” and that’s when the light bulb went off! If you asked this dreamer what it meant to have a ‘stiff upper lip’, she might not have been able to tell you with her conscious mind as this was not a saying she used. However, when we explored the standard meanings of the phrase, it clicked. It turns out the person she was attempting to connect with was experiencing hurt feelings, yet trying to hide them. In this case it was not a romantic partnership, as kissing can be a symbol for connection of any kind. This was an employee she was interacting with on a work project, and her subconscious mind had clearly picked up that he was trying very hard not to show his hurt feelings regarding constructive feedback she had recently given him on how to improve his work. Even though consciously she was not sure she knew what the expression ‘stiff upper lip’ meant, her subconscious mind knew very well and found a visual way to illustrate this verbal saying. She was then able to show some compassion for her colleague and give him as much positive feedback as possible, in addition to ways to improve when necessary. The dream revealed emotional dynamics that were going on under the surface, in a way that allowed her to repair and improve their professional relationship going forward.
A man applied to a job for which he was exceptionally well qualified. He later found out that a friend of the boss – who was not as well qualified – was hired instead. That night the man had a dream that his friend Rob got the job instead of him. Since his friend Rob did not actually apply for the job or work in the same field in waking life, I asked the dreamer if he felt ‘robbed’ because he did not get the job. He said “Absolutely yes!” It’s always interesting to look at the names of people and things to see if they might double as words with another meaning. They don’t have to be spelled the same, as the non-linear mind does not care about logical things like spelling. For example, names of people such as: Mark, Jean, Melody, Bill, Rusty, Crystal, June, Hunter, and Patience can hold double meaning. Names of inanimate objects, and even car models such as Triumph, Fury, Swinger, and Dart can also hold another layer of significance.
A single woman who was looking for love had a dream she was checking the mail. Based on other factors in the dream, I asked her if it was possible she was ‘checking the male’ population around her, as in checking them out. It fit with the rest of the dream and what was relevant for her, and we had a good laugh.
A man found out I work with dreams and casually told me he had a dream that he was peeing on his neighbor. Since this was not a private session I just asked him quickly “Well, are you ‘pissed’ at him?” He laughed and said “YES!”
Now here is some fun for you. Look at the illustrations below…can you decipher the visual puns that are depicted? To find the answers, scroll to the bottom of the article, below my bio.

Artwork by Kathleen Kowal

Artwork by Kathleen Kowal

Artwork by Punny Pixels 

Artwork by Punny Pixels

Artwork by Punny Pixels

Artwork by Punny Pixels

Much thanks to Eunice Ng and Nandini Trivedi of Punny Pixels (check them out on Instagram!), and Kathleen Kowall Design and Illustration (check her out on Facebook!) for giving permission to use their fun and clever artwork to illustrate this article!

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Mimi Pettibone is the creator of the ‘Enchanted Art Oracle Cards’, and offers private consultations in dream interpretation and personal growth work focused on relationships, communication, and authentic life path. She works in person in Seattle, WA as well as by phone. Her background includes psychology, relationships & communication, spirituality, dreams, intuition, and consciousness. Mimi is also a monthly dream columnist for the New Spirit Journal 

Answer Key to Visual Puns:

Snail Mail

Grate (Great) Opportunity

Couch Potato

Brain Storm

Emotional Baggage

Negative Space

People often wonder when they dream of being romantic with someone, does it mean it will really happen? Whether it is an ex, a co-worker, or someone they have a crush on, this question can be very perplexing. The more intense or vivid the dream, the more it bothers us. It can also make us feel very awkward next time we see the person from our dream, even though they have no idea about it!

Kissing and sexual intimacy in dreams are symbols of connection and passion. So we look at who the dreamer is connecting with and what qualities that person represents to them. Then the dreamer can contemplate whether they currently are, or would like to be, connecting with those traits within themselves or in their life.

Sometimes these dreams can be about rehearsing what it’s like to be physically intimate with someone, and especially young adults will experience this before their first kiss. Whether or not it will happen with the person they dreamed about is not necessarily determined by the dream. However there are many documented cases of someone dreaming about their future partner before they actually meet them. This is not the most common thing, but it has happened many times, and I wonder if more people remembered their dreams perhaps we would hear even more cases reported.

Sometimes we dream of making out with someone we would never consider as a partner (casual or long-term) in waking life. We may even find them the complete opposite of attractive! At least on the surface. Whether the person is someone you know, a celebrity, or something in between, look at what that person represents to you and how you might be connecting with those traits (the ones you like) within yourself.

Many romantic dreams have nothing at all to do with actual romance. In that case look at what the dream has to say about your other passions in life such as your creativity or life purpose. Other dreams that do not contain elements of romance with another might actually have profound and meaningful insights about our relationships. The dreaming mind wants us to be happy and fulfilled, to live our purpose, and to love deeply. Listening to their messages can enhance both our quality of life and our relationships with our selves and with others.

Many of us have experienced the phenomenon of having a dream within a dream. But what does it mean, and why does it happen? There are many theories and different ways the experience can play out. Some involve false awakenings, some also include lucid dreaming, and sometimes we even remember a dream from a previous time while in a current dream (a common one for this dreamer!) Let’s explore some of these variations and the theories behind their possible meanings.

FALSE AWAKENINGS

A false awakening is when we think we wake up from a dream, and we go about doing what we would normally do when we get up, such as brushing our teeth or walking to the kitchen to get breakfast. Sometimes things seem perfectly normal, other times something seems a little ‘off’ due to the dream-like alterations to our waking reality. Especially when things are a little ‘off’, the dreamer may be triggered into lucidity and become aware of the fact that they are dreaming. Other times, a person believes they are waking up, but they really going into yet another false awaking! This can happen multiple times in a row for some people.

If you find yourself unsure of whether you are experiencing a false awakening, or are really awake, try recalling something of a linear nature such as your address. The dreaming mind is non-linear so it will be harder to recall things like numbers. Also check out your surroundings and do some ‘reality checks’ as to the nature of your environment, whether it is the same as in waking or not. Some say if you get out of bed and are not sure if you are in a false awakening, explore your environment and soon you will be able to tell if you are in a dreamscape. Walking into another room can be a good way to test out the landscape for which reality you are in.

While some will categorize a false awakening as a dream within a dream, to me there is a difference. A false awakening is marked by the sense waking up and doing what we would normally do when we get out of bed. A ‘dream within a dream’ can be more complex in terms of potential depth of meaning, as we will explore next.

A DREAM WITHIN A DREAM

There are a number of theories postulated as to why we experience a dream within a dream, and what it might mean. Freud thought that the material in the embedded dream was of a nature that we were not yet ready to face, and so we subconsciously buried, or encapsulated, it within another dream in order to be even less aware of it consciously. To me this does not necessarily make sense as we usually remember both the first and second dream equally. If the content was so disturbing that our mind was trying to ‘hide’ it from us, we would likely not remember it at all.

Though some theorists have agreed with Freud, other have not. His theory has been criticized for dismissing the encapsulating dream and focusing only on the dream within the dream. He also did not take into consideration how the two dreams might be related.

To me this is a much more likely and useful theory that offers more depth of exploration regarding the relationship between the two dreams. It is a much more fascinating approach as well.

HOW THE TWO DREAMS RELATE TO EACH OTHER

This is where it gets interesting. While there is no one set way to look at the relationship between the two dreams, here are some interesting perspectives to take into consideration. If you have a dream within a dream, see if any of these fit for you.

– One dream may outline a problem, and the other may provide a solution.

– One dream may show an ‘if this…’, the other may show a ‘then that…’ scenario. This is actually a hypothesis of why our other dreams seem to suddenly jump scenes in a way that seems totally unrelated. Maybe it can apply to dreams within dreams as well.

– The two dreams may provide different potential solutions or outcomes to a given situation.

– The two dreams may show one issue from two different perspectives.

– Notice the transition point where the first dream ends. What is the dreamer feeling or experiencing, and where in the story does the person ‘wake up’ to the next dream? Is the feeling or story break of significance to how the dreams relate to each other, or to the person’s life?

– Are the two dreams very similar in nature, or do they hold contrasting energies?

– Whether the dreams are similar or contrasting, how might this be significant or of relevance to the dreamer?

– Is one dream a continuation of the other, or a commentary on it?

– Could either of the dreams serve to prepare us for a potential outcome in waking life?

ANXIETY DREAM WITHIN A DREAM

One possible manifestation of the dream within the dream is to take the form of an anxiety dream. Some people dream they wake up and believe they are late for work or school, only to realize they are still dreaming, and then have the whole process repeat itself. Other times the person thinks they wake up and go to write the dream down, only to realize they are also still dreaming when the words drift off the page or some other variation of waking reality occurs. The latter may be more of a false awakening, depending on the emotions experienced by the dreamer during the dream.

WAKING UP TO SOMETHING IN OUR LIFE

Sometimes waking up within a dream can be symbolic of ‘waking up’ to something in our life. When we reach a new level of conscious awareness that we previously did not have, it may show up in this type of dream experience. Whether we are attaining this insight in the dream only, or we have become aware of it in waking life, our consciousness has realized – or ‘woken up’ to – something in regards of which we previously were ‘asleep’.

FALLING ASLEEP IN OUR CONSCIOUSNESS

On the opposite side of this coin, sometimes we dream that we are falling asleep! This can be symbolic of something that we are ‘closing our eyes’ to, or going unconscious of, in our waking life. Take note, as this kind of un-awareness is what gets us into trouble when we don’t realize we are doing it. And we don’t usually realize it because we are unconscious of it! However a dream can point out the fact that we are doing this, so by taking note we can remedy the situation by bringing our conscious awareness back into the picture.

NESTED LOOPS

The dream within a dream reminds me of a concept in hypnosis called ‘nested loops’. In this technique, the hypnotherapist uses metaphor (also used by dreams, of course) to create stories relevant to the client’s problem. The hypnotherapist decides how many layers of stories she wants to use (for example 3, 5, or more), and then begins by telling the first story, only to drop off part way through and begin the second story. This process is continued until the deepest layer of story is reached and this story is completed to resolution. Now the hypnotherapist goes back to the second to last story and finishes it, providing positive resolution and ‘closing the loop’ so to speak. She continues this on back up the chain all the way until the first story is finished and resolved in a way that metaphorically provides a resolution to the problem the client wanted to address. I can’t help but wonder if the dream within a dream might be using a similar approach, though we usually don’t go back to the previous dream to resolve it, the concept is an interesting one.
And I can’t help but end this article with the famous poem by Edgar Allen Poe:

A DREAM WITHIN A DREAM – POEM BY EDGAR ALLEN POE

Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow-
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand-
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep- while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?

Shared dreams, also known as mutual dreams, are when two or more people share a dream experience at the same time. The degree to which the dream is shared can vary, from having common elements or events that happen in each person’s dream to the entire dream being the same. The experience is known by different names including mutual dreams, shared dreaming, dream meshing, or linking. Shared dreams can happen spontaneously, or can be incubated and planned, and are most common between people who are emotionally close such as couples, siblings, parent-child, or best friends. Twins may be especially prone to shared dreams, though it may happen between complete strangers as well. We may not hear about this as often, since the strangers would have to later meet and compare their dreams. Following are some of the ways in which this fascinating phenomenon may manifest.

One person is having a dream – already in progress – when another person suddenly pops in, invited or uninvited. The second dreamer (the one making the ‘guest appearance’) may have had the first person strongly on their mind before sleep, and may or may not have any conscious awareness of the dream visitation, let alone remember the encounter the next day upon waking. Similarly, the first person – who was just minding their own dream business – may or may not remember the visit by their guest who popped in.

People often ask when they dream of another person, does it mean that person really came to visit them, or was that person thinking or dreaming of them, too? This is an especially common fascination when the person we dream about is a love interest or former partner with whom we wish to rekindle. While not the norm, nor highly likely, it actually is possible. Often these types of dreams will reflect our feelings about the person in the dream. The dream may outline relationship dynamics, or the person may even represent a part of our own psyche. One distinguishing characteristic that may provide a clue as to the nature of visitor (actual person’s consciousness vs. dream character) is the ‘popping in’ effect, or interrupted quality of a dream that is already happening. This has been a documented phenomenon in psychic dream research, as well as after death visitation dreams, and is one of the markers of a visitation type experience. Intuitive signals are also commonly described as thoughts, feelings, or visions that ‘pop’ into our consciousness in the same manner. One way to verify would be to check in with the other person, which may or may not be possible especially if the other person does not recall any dreams from that night. This still does not rule out the possibility of the occurrence.

MESHING

Meshing refers to the basic level of shared dreams where some of the elements overlap, but the entire dreams of the different people are not exactly the same. The dreams may share common characters, settings, or story lines, which the dreamers may or may not have had actual waking life experience with.  Sometimes sharing a common waking experience can contribute to dream meshing. For example, if two people watched the same movie one night and then both dreamed about some of the characters or settings. Or perhaps they shared an experience, such as going to a museum, and both dreamed about some of the things they saw or experienced at the museum but the entire dreams were not exactly the same. Meshing dreams may be incubated by sharing an experience, then talking about it before sleep, and finally intending to dream about the experience.

MEETING

Meeting dreams are where two or more people interact in the dream world and communicate with each other. This experience is less common than meshing dreams, and it does imply telepathic communication between dreamers. I have experienced this personally, and will share one story to illustrate. My sister and I were on a camping trip, sleeping in the same tent near each other. I woke myself up by talking in my sleep…and then my sister answered me. I thought ‘oh how embarrassing, I fell asleep while we were talking!’, but as I gained wakeful consciousness I looked over and she was actually fast asleep. I tried saying something else to her, curious if she would respond again from her sleeping dream state, but this time she did not. I later learned that being in the same brainwave state may be conducive to facilitating these types of experiences. When we have R.E.M. dreams we are predominantly in the alpha brainwave state, and when we wake up beta brain waves usually take over. This theory fits with my experience that we were able to talk in our sleep (both being in alpha brain waves), but when I woke up I was no longer ‘reaching’ her as I was in a different brain wavelength state.  The next day I asked her if she remembered any dreams. She said yes, and told me the first half of the dream. When it matched exactly what I had dreamed, I stepped in and finished the dream by telling her the rest of it as I had experienced it. She said ‘how did you know?!” I explained to her how I woke up and we were sleep talking together, so I suspected we were sharing a dream and now it was confirmed.

SHARED & PRECOGNITIVE

In the dream my sister and I shared, there were some people and experiences that actually happened the next day! We both dreamed of meeting brothers, and both of us dreamed a specific name of one of them, and the next day we met these people; even the name was confirmed. This is not a common feature of shared dreams but I mention it to show the layers possible with any type of unusual dream phenomena.

GROUP DREAMING

Group dreams are the same as meshing or meeting dreams, but with more than two people partaking in the experience.

SHARING DREAMS WITH ANIMALS

While I have mentioned that shared dream experiences may happen between two people, or even a group of people, it can also happen between people and their animals! Again, one of the facilitating factors of shared dreams, or any type of telepathic sharing, is a close emotional bond. So it makes sense that people who share a close bond with their animals might also share dreams with them. A woman had a dog who she called Leo because to her he looked like a little Lion. One night she dreamed that she was in her living room, and there was a little lion (about the size of her dog!) sitting on her couch, playing with a toy. As she woke up, her dog was making funny sounds and appeared to be also dreaming. He woke up shortly, and proceeded to venture straight out to the living room, jumped up on the couch, and looked as though he were searching for something in the exact spot the woman saw the little lion playing with his toy. While we cannot ask the dog what he was dreaming about, it seems likely they were dreaming of the same thing, each from their own perspective of human and animal. Another man was away on business and left his dog with a friend. The plan was for the dog to stay in the house with her. But one night he dreamed that his dog was in a barn with farm animals. He called his friend the next day, and she told him that his dog had escaped from the house the night before and spent the night in the barn!

INTENDING TO SHARE A DREAM

While any of the above types of shared dreams can occur spontaneously, they can also be intended. As mentioned regarding meshing dreams, sharing an experience, talking about it before sleep, and intended to share a dream can help facilitate mutual dreaming. If people wish to meet in a dream, it’s a good idea to choose the place where you want to meet before going to sleep. It could be somewhere familiar to you, that you know and love, or somewhere you’ve never been. Once you choose the place, you can also pick a code word that you will say to each other. This is not necessary, just a technique if you should chose to use it. As you are each drifting off to sleep, really focus on the meeting place, the other person, your connection with them, what you’d like the interaction to be like, etc. If you find your mind meandering on to another topic, redirect your focus back to the meeting place, the person, the feelings you wish to have, and so on. When you wake up, have each person record their dream independently of the other, either via a recording device or by writing it down. Then you can verbally compare notes, but since the nature of dreams are slippery and they do fade away from us quickly I recommend recording independently first so as not to influence each other’s recounting, but also we may capture details that we may later forget.

Because of the fact that so many people do not remember their dreams, and even vivid dreamers rarely recall every dream from every night, I believe the types of experiences described in here, as well as many other psi dreaming phenomena, may be occurring a lot higher rate than we imagine.

If you have a shared dream experience, or any dream that you would like to consult with Mimi, visit the consultation page for more info.

I am often asked if it is true that every aspect of a dream represents some part of the dreamer. The answer is both yes and no. Yes: the characters and even the objects or settings in a dream can represent various parts of our selves, and this is a fascinating way of looking at a dream that can reveal some of our deepest truths. And, No: sometimes a dream interaction with another person is there to shed some light on our actual relationship with that person. Can it be both? Yes. Even if the dream is showing us about our relationship with another person, it can be enormously beneficial to look at that person as if they were a part of us. Doing so can greatly enhance our understanding and the quality of our relationships.

This is where dreams, and the human psyche, are very holographic. Each of us has within us all the qualities of humanity, whether or not we express them. So whether we dream of an interaction with our brother, boyfriend, boss, spouse, friend, or foe, we can gain powerful insights about the other person and our relationship with them. At the same time, by empathically merging with our perception of another person we learn amazing things about our self in the process.

One way to experience this is to have the dreamer speak as a person or character from the dream. A dream worker may facilitate the process by asking questions of the dreamer, as the dreamer imagines embodying the dream character and answers as that person. Another way, coined by Fritz Perls, is to have the dreamer sit in one chair as his or herself, and begin a dialogue with the dreamed about person, imagining that person sitting in an empty chair in front of them. Then the dreamer moves to the empty chair and answers as if they were the other person. The dreamer can move back and forth continuing the dialogue until some kind of resolution is reached. If we look at the dream as intrapsychic – meaning that all the characters and elements of the dream represent part of our self – this process facilitates integration of internal conflicting parts. When we are not at war within our selves, it is much easier to have peaceful relationships with others.

Either of these methods of dialogue may be done with the dreamer imagining they are another person from their dream, however the dreamer can also embody the role of an object, animal, or setting from the dream. Any of this can also be done to facilitate a deeper understanding of our waking life relationships, whether or not we recall a dream to work with.

This technique of taking on the role of another person (or object or setting) is only one of many different ways of working with dreams to understand their meaning and the messages they wish to convey to us.

What do the invention of the sewing machine, the song Satisfaction, the scientific discovery of the structure of the benzene ring, and the book and movie series Twilight have in common? The people who brought them forth into the world received these ideas and creations while in the dream state.

Many inventions, literary works, musical compositions, scientific discoveries, and creative ideas have manifested because they originally appeared in a dream. Most of us have gone to sleep with a problem or question on our mind and woken up with the answer at some point in our life. Even if we don’t remember a dream upon waking, our dreaming mind has been processing during our sleep, and so it is possible to wake up with an answer regardless of whether or not we recall a dream.

Dream incubation is the process of asking our dreams for insights. It can be an amazing tool for problem solving, coming up with creative ideas, understanding relationships, and even offer new perspectives into health issues. It has been used since ancient times; in fact, the ancient Greeks had entire temples devoted to dream incubation.

Here are some steps to help you learn how to incubate a dream:

1.     Decide on a specific question or topic you would like to inquire about.

Stay away from yes/no questions, as dreams will answer with a story. They may give you new perspectives and ways of looking at things that you hadn’t considered before, that are beyond the scope of yes or no. Here are some examples of dream incubation questions:

• How can I find a romantic relationship that is in my best interest?
• Show me some insights into what is going on with my health.
• Help me understand my relationship with _______.
• Show me how I can better connect with my life purpose.
• How can I reach the next level in my career?
• I need a new marketing idea for the Johnson campaign.
• Send me a creative idea for my next art piece (song/book/recipe etc).

2. Write down, or think about, how your day was.

Contemplate a few notes about your day. How did you feel, what did you do, who were you with, and/or what was strongly on your mind. Any or all of these can greatly affect the content of our dreams.

3. Contemplate the question. Ask yourself:

• What have I tried so far?
• What has worked /what hasn’t worked?
• What do I see as the cause of the problem?
• How would I like things to turn out?
• What solutions have I thought of?
• How do I feel as Inthink about this?
• How would things be different if I resolved this?
• What do I want? What do I not want?

4. Write down the question and keep it next to your bed.

Repeat the phrase over and over as you go to sleep. Some people find it helpful to do some writing about the matter before bed, but this is not required. Another option, before you repeat the question, is to consider the situation from all different angles: what have you done so far, what have you thought about but not done, what has happened, what would you like to happen, and so on. Then repeat the phrase/question over and over as you drift off to sleep.    

5. Write down or record your dream as soon as you wake up.

Most dreams will be gone in less than 10 minutes if we don’t do something to record them. Whether you write it down, use a digital or tape recorder, or an app on your phone, capture the dream before it slips away. Even if you only remember a short fragment, a song lyric, a thought or feeling, document it. It may hold highly valuable information, regardless of how insignificant or irrelevant it may seem at the time. Also note the date; this is especially relevant with dreams that turn out to be precognitive. You will thank yourself later for noting the date. If you remember a song, or one is strongly on your mind upon waking, be sure to look up the lyrics as chances are they will offer pertinent insight as to what is going on with you at the time, and can be very emotionally poignant.

When asking our dreams for information, the answer may be obvious upon awakening, or it may be encrypted in the metaphorical language of the dreamscape. In this case working with a dream professional, joining a dream group, or learning how to interpret the messages of your dreams can offer tools to connect with your own greater wisdom and higher self knowledge.

To learn more about dreams, check out Mimi’s upcoming workshops and dream groups at East West Bookshop:

Interactive Dream Workshop

May 22, 2016 at East West Bookshop 12:30 – 3pm

http://www.eastwestbookshop.com/events/9586

And Dream Groups on May 15 & 29 from 1-3pm at East West Bookshop

For a full calendar of events hosted by Mimi, including her monthly Conscious Communication workshop, visit www.meetup.com/dreamgroup  Mimi Pettibone is a Certified Transactional Analysis Practitioner who specializes in dream interpretation, relationships and life path. She also offers tarot readings, as well as classes and consultations at East West Bookshop and by phone.

While the goal of a fictional vampire is to harvest blood from their victim, energy vampires (aka emotional vampires) are after our life force. They often start off with flattery, doing nice things for us, or they may shower us with gifts or attention. Then all of a sudden they pull a switch and become controlling, criticizing, or display an over developed sense of attachment. They may even play the ‘victim’ and attempt to get you to rescue them.

The controlling type may do something that seems nice such as offer you a ride to the airport, or make you dinner. But if you refuse they get angry. Getting you to do what they want (controlling you) is how they are ‘fed’ energetically. When you say ‘no’ it upsets them as they don’t get their ‘fix’. Do what you can to resist their suggestions and commands. When you resist enough, they will move on to another host.
The criticizing style will put you down, and aim to inflict emotional and/or psychic pain to you. It’s not necessarily conscious on their part. But unconsciously they know that if they can hurt you, inflict some pain somehow, they can get you to bleed energetically. The life force that leaks out of you when you receive the pain is the ‘blood’ they feed on. If you try to explain to them how they just hurt you, they will put you down for it. Try not to let them hurt you (or don’t show it) as that is how they are fed.
The type of vampire that is emotionally over-attached, or plays victim, will be after you for emotional support. They may try to get you to favors for them or act on their behalf. They may even try to borrow money, or just talk your ear off with their problems, but yet they will not accept any solutions. Their favorite game is ‘yes, but…’ They may try to get your on their side (when there really is no ‘side’ to take) or become jealous. Their main goal is trying to create a feeling of intimacy (though obviously not in a healthy way), as this is how they feed. Avoid rescuing them, and set firm limits with your time and boundaries. For the chronic talker, interrupt them and redirect the conversation.
Sometimes we can be our own worst vampire! Having internalized voices from our past, our own inner critic may take over and harvest our energy, sucking the life out of us internally. Changing our thought patterns and redirecting them to self love is key. Find what lights you up internally and generate as much of that as possible.
Situational vampires can be such things as a job that does not fit your true nature.  Going against your instincts and doing what you think you ‘should’ be doing, rather than what fits who you truly are, can truly drain the life force from a sensitive soul. Follow what literally ‘lights you up’ to generate more chi.
Most energy vampires are not acting consciously. They are wounded souls who have learned that the only way to get any energy is by taking it from others. They need to learn how to get their nurturance from source, their own life; not from you.

SIGNS YOU HAVE BEEN DRAINED BY AN EMOTIONAL VAMPIRE:
•    You feel tired and exhausted after being around them
•    Feeling cheated, resentful, anxious or shut down after being around them
•    Experience the feeling of being ‘slimed’
•    Loss of mental energy
•    Physical strength decreases by as much as 50%
•    Weight gain due to binge eat to relieve stress from being drained by another person. A binge on comfort foods is an attempt to feel better or ‘get your energy back’. Someone has just fed on you, now your instinct is to be fed. But it’s not really food we need, it is protection from the energy sucker.
•    Inability to think clearly
•    Short term memory declines
•    Exposure can take a day or weeks to recover

According to the research of Dr. Joe H. Slate, Ph.D., Kirlian (aura) photography shows that during an attack the emotional vampire reaches out to the victim via a tentacle like structure that then punctures and draws energy from the victim’s aura. This expands the vampire’s aura, showing as increased light in the Kirlian photography, and constricts the victim’s aura decreasing their light aka energy. The ‘puncture wounds’ can then take days or weeks to heal. Long term effects of prolonged exposure can cause serious illness in the victim.
Dr. Gillian Holloway echoes a similar sentiment: “Sadist (energy vampire) attacks seem to leave lasting scars, and one of them can be a reduced ability to ‘hold a charge’ as the mystics say. Physical conditioning and breathing meditations can build up your ability to hold your own energy in a powerful way, and to get used to feeling powerful again.” Here are some more tips on how to regain power.

STRATEGIES FOR DEALING WITH EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES:
•    Say no to the favors they offer
•    Do not rescue the
•    Redirect the conversation
•    Breath deeply
•    Resist their suggestions or commands
•    Stay emotionally neutral; they are trying to get you to react as it feeds them
•    Say “I’m sorry, but I can only talk for a few minutes”
•    Say “I hate to interrupt, but…” then interrupt them
•    Say “Thank you for your suggestion, I’ll consider it”. Then do what you want.
•    Move around while they are talking to you
•    Avoid eye contact
•    Do not replay their attacks in your mind
•    Try not to hurt when they attack; it feeds them
•    If you are able, do some physical exercise as it moves energy through the body
•    Set firm limits and boundaries
•    Speak loudly, firm and clear
•    Stay centered and calm

ENERGY WORK:
•    Imagine yourself surrounded by an impenetrable bubble of white light that protects you
•    Talk to them in your mind, for example: “I am in charge of my energy, and you cannot have it.”
•    Imagine their energy in the shape of a ball. Push the ball away from you and send it back to them.
•    Cut the psychic/energetic chords between you
•    When we are drained our energy travels upward (i.e. ‘riled up’ vs. ‘calmed down’). Imagine a bird whose feathers get ruffled, as a metaphor for how this person has riled up your energy. Now imagine the bird’s feathers smoothing down, as your energy calms down and you are able to center and rebalance yourself.

Mimi Pettibone is a Certified Transactional Analysis Practitioner who specializes in dream interpretation, relationships and communication skills. She offers classes and consultations in Seattle, WA and offers private consultations by phone as well. Mimi host bi-monthly telephone dream groups, where members engage in a group process of dream exploration. To join the telephone dream group, go to www.meetup.com/DreamGroup and click ‘join’ to receive calendar updates of upcoming groups and events and to RSVP.

A woman has the following dream:

“I am in an elevator, and it’s going down. A man is in the elevator with me. He is invisible, but I can sense him. He grabs my foot and flips me onto my back. He starts sucking on my toe, and as he does my foot disappears into thin air. He continues to suck, and now my leg gradually disappears. It’s like he is an invisible vampire, sucking my blood, and as my blood disappears, so do I. Although I see this and I am aware of what’s happening, I do not stop him.”

Vampires in dreams can represent people or situations that are sucking the life force right out of us. While the goal of a fictional vampire is to harvest blood from their victim, energy vampires (aka emotional vampires) are seeking our life energy.
In this dream the metaphor of ‘going down’ can hold double meaning both sexually, and it can represent a situation that is ‘going down’ (or going poorly). The actions of the man flipping her on her back, and sucking, could also be interpreted as sexual. At the same time, he is literally sucking her into non-existence! She is disappearing right in front of her own eyes, and he is causing this to happen. Through working with the dream it was confirmed that the man was symbolic of someone who was acting as emotional vampire in her life. This woman was in a very unhealthy sexual relationship with a man who was ‘sucking the life’ out of her. While part of her was aware of this, another part of her chose to continue seeing him and be in the relationship.
In working with this dream, the part that stood out to her the most was the ending where she was aware of what was happening yet she did not stop him. She came to the realization that not only was he draining her energy, but she felt like she was losing herself and her identity in the process  – i.e. she was ‘disappearing’! This was so concerning to the dreamer, and the dream provided such a clear outline, that she chose to end the relationship immediately.
It is common in vampire dreams to experience some kind of ambivalence, such as wanting to help the person, even liking them in some way, but also knowing they are bad for us and wanting to get away from them. This can be reflective of an addictive type of relationship. It is also reflective of how it can feel to be around someone who is an emotional vampire. They can lure us in with flattery, seduction, gifts or a sense of being needed. Then they switch, and go in for the ‘kill”; aka the feeding process of draining someone else’s life force to add to their own.
Some dreams that could show up when dealing with emotional vampires are: dreams of actual vampires, dreams of blood loss, and dreams of losing parts of the body. Emotional wounds often show up as physical wounds to the body in dreams. Someone attacking us emotionally during waking life may show up as someone attacking us physically in the dream state.
Other dreams that could show up when someone is psychically draining or invading a person could be: dreams of a home invasion, losing a purse, being stalked, or someone trying to kill us. I say this with caution as any of these dreams could also be about many other things!  When working with dreams it is always important to check with the dreamer to see what personal meanings and associations they hold, what is going on in their life, and what the symbols and metaphors mean to them. That said, it is not uncommon for nightmares to happen when we re being energetically drained or manipulated by someone. Our dreaming mind will always call attention to the care of the soul that is needed for a healthy life.
While some symbols hold a common meaning, such as vampires being negative creatures who suck the life out of us, they can also vary depending on the dreamer and the dream. Here is an example of another vampire dream, where the vampires actually save the day. The dreamer titled this one ‘Magical Vampires’:

“I am at a big party. The hosts are playing some kind of a game with the guests, unbeknownst to the guests. The game entails the host dancing with a guest, leading them backwards toward a window, pretending to ‘dip’ them, but them purposefully dropping them out the window where they fall to their death.
Now the hosts are doing it with 3 people at a time. I am observing the whole thing in horror. However, the next 3 ‘victims’ are actually magical vampires in disguise! When the hosts go to drop them out the window, the vampires float down the side of the building, only to return flying in the air like some kind of power trio. They are very magical and powerful and it is clear that they are going to use their powers to stop the evil people from killing any more.”

This dream shows the vampires in a role of ‘saving the day’ with their magical powers. Mere humans could not have pulled of such a feat! In this story, the energy the vampires hold is life affirming. Through working with the dream we realized that the vampires represented part of the dreamer that she did not realize existed. She was dealing with some very toxic people, and was finding her own power and ways to respond in the situation that felt so good it was akin to having ‘magical powers’.
I give this dream as an example to never assume, always check with the dreamer. Also look at the story line, plot, actions and feelings. The tones of the two dreams are entirely different, giving the first major clue as to the nature of what is going on with the dreamer.
In the next article we will look at types of energy vampires, and tips for how to deal with them.

Mimi Pettibone is a Certified Transactional Analysis Practitioner who specializes in dream interpretation, relationships and communication skills. She offers classes and consultations in Seattle, WA and offers private consultations by phone as well. Mimi host bi-monthly telephone dream groups, where members engage in a group process of dream exploration. To join the telephone dream group, go to www.meetup.com/DreamGroup and click ‘join’ to receive calendar updates of upcoming groups and events and to RSVP.
Happy dreaming!