If you are ever in need of a creative idea, or find yourself trying to solve a seemingly irresolvable problem, seek no more…you have an unlimited source for inspiration and guidance in the form of your own dreams! Many famous invention, discoveries, literary and musical works have been sourced from the dream world.

One of my all-time favorites is the story of Madame C. J. Walker (1867 – 1919). She was the daughter of former slaves, orphaned at the age of 7, and started working at the age of 10…yet she went on to become the first female self-made millionaire in America! I absolutely love her. She worked as a laundress for many years, earning barely more than a dollar a day, and was a singer in her church where she met some affluent, well-educated African American’s who inspired her to fulfill more of her own potential. Around this time, she also noticed that her hair was falling out and experienced problems with dandruff, which was common with the African American community in those days due in part to the lack of proper hair care products. She tried what was available at the time, but nothing worked. Then one night she had a dream. She later told a reporter that God had answered her prayer, “for one night I had a dream, and in that dream a big black man appeared to me and told me what to mix up for my hair. Some of the remedy was grown in Africa, but I sent for it, mixed it, put it on my scalp, and in a few weeks my hair was coming in faster than it had ever fallen out. I tried it on my friends; it helped them. I made up my mind I would begin to sell it.”

With $1.05 in the bank and working part time as a laundress, she began selling her products door to door. She married a man who helped her with the advertising, however “When we began to make $10 a day, he thought that was enough, thought I ought to be satisfied. But I was convinced that my hair preparation would fill a long-felt want. And when we found it impossible to agree, due to his narrowness of vision, I embarked on business for myself.” By 1908 she had established a training college for her system of hair care and had a national sales force including women who had previously worked as laundry washers, cooks, teachers, and housewives. By 1910 she had 5,000 agents all around the United States, and her business was making $7000 per week.

In 1913, one of her agents wrote: “You opened up a trade for hundreds of colored women to make an honest and profitable living where they make as much in one week as a month’s salary would bring from any other position that a colored woman can secure.” When she crossed over, her obituary said “It is given to few persons to transform a people in a generation. Yet this was done by the late Madam C. J. Walker…[She] made and deserved a fortune and gave much of it away generously.”

Her dream – and the fact that she followed it and took it’s information seriously – affected not only the course of her own life, but empowered and enriched the lives of countless others as well.

If you decide to access the power of your dreams you will be in good company. Einstein, Aristotle, Decartes, Thomas Edison, and Salvador Dali all regularly turned to the dream realm for ideas and answers to problems. Thomas Edison would sit in a chair with a steel ball in his hand, with the intention of drifting off to the twilight dream zone known as the hypnogogic state. He kept the ball in his hand so that when he sank deep enough into sleep his hand would relax and the ball would hit the floor, waking him up so that he could remember and record whatever information he received. Similarly, Salvador Dali held a key in his hand and a kept plate on the ground so that when he drifted off deeply enough the key would clang as it hit the plate, waking him up and giving him conscious remembrance of what he had accessed in the dream world.

In 1865 German chemist Friedrich August Kekulé dreamed of a snake biting it’s tail, revealing to him the true structure of the benzene ring. In 1845 Elias Howe was trying to invent a machine that could sew, but he could not figure out how to get the needle to pick up the thread on the other side of the cloth. Then he had a dream that cannibals were chasing him with spears, and at the head of each spear was a hole. He had been using the traditional model of a needle with a hole in the end, but he had been placing the hole at the heel of the needle, not the head! This dream image gave him the idea to place the hole at the head of the needle, and thus the sewing machine was born.

Songs like Satisfaction by Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones, and Yesterday by Paul McCartney both were inspired by dreams. The stories for Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, and the book and movie series Twilight, all came from dreams.

So next time you think sleep is a waste of time, think again about what you might be missing if you don’t get enough of it! If you’d like to access information in the dream state about a specific topic, see my article about dream incubation and try this before you go to sleep.

Ask The Dream Detective: from Mimi’s Dream Column for the New Spirit Journal

HEART SURGERY DREAM

A 26-year-old woman had the following dream:

“I was awake and having heart surgery. The man performing the heart surgery had longish hair and I didn’t know him but I know that the heart surgery wasn’t what I wanted and that he was a bad man taking advantage of me. I didn’t want what he was doing to me but I had no choice because he literally had my heart in his hand and now I needed him to replace it or put it back. He replaced it with I think another heart or the same one I’m not sure and attached it into my chest. He attached it on my right side not my left. When it was over I was walking through hallways. The heart was beating very strong. As I looked down the heart (on the right side of my chest) was protruding. It was still under my skin but it was pumping out of my chest. I had to hold it in my hands, kind of covering it in order to protect it.”

For this dream we are going to take a special look at how language can play a role in understanding the meaning of our dreams. As always, dreams are usually more symbolic than literal, and it is when we get caught up in the literal that we get stuck in a limited view of the dream. Language is a reflection of our experience, and in this case it will help us to access the dream’s symbolism and meaning.

In the dream a bad man is doing something to the dreamer that she doesn’t want him to, and he’s doing it to her heart. Does this sound like anything familiar, outside of actual heart surgery? I don’t need to go very far before you can connect the meaning yourself, and realize that this dream was not about the physical act of heart surgery, but symbolic of her emotional experience in a past relationship. When looking at the dream through this lens, we can re-examine the language she uses:

• “(It) wasn’t what I wanted”
• “He was a bad man taking advantage of me”
• “I didn’t want what he was doing to me”
• “I had no choice because he literally had my heart in his hand”
• “Now I needed him to…put it back”
• “I had to hold (my heart) in my hands, kind of covering it in order to protect it.”

In waking life the dreamer had been in an abusive marriage, and though she had left him some time ago she recently made it official by filing for divorce. She was in the process of taking back control of her life and described herself as the happiest she has ever been.  At the time of this dream she was in a new, much healthier relationship, and studying for a career that she feels passionate about. So why then, when things are going so well, would she have a dream like this?

Even though filing for divorce was a very empowering maneuver, it caused some of the old painful feelings she experienced during the marriage to resurface. And though she had done a lot of healing, she was still in the process of fully reclaiming her heart. In the dream she states that she needs the man to “put it back” – ’it’ being her heart. She was still reclaiming the final pieces of her own heart after being wounded in the painful marriage. When she described the heart protruding from her chest and her need to protect it, though she found the imagery a little disturbing she also marveled at her ability to protect herself despite what had happened! It also gave her a new level of awareness as to how she might navigate the new relationship in a way that didn’t cause her to block her heart from the love that was now available to her.

The fact that she was awake during the surgery may be symbolic of her realization that she was awake, i.e. aware, of what was happening in the bad marriage as it was taking place. A dreamwork technique known as re-scripting can be very helpful here. This involves re-writing the dream story to have a more favorable outcome for the dreamer. If she were to imagine a new story line for this dream she might consider the fact that since she was awake she could stop the man entirely from performing the surgery in the first place. This could then become a great personal symbol and example for how to stop negative situations and relationship patterns from happening, by not putting her heart into the hands of people who do not hold her best interest. In this way she would be protecting her heart in an even more effective manner than at the end of the dream, so that the damage to her heart does not occur in the first place. Examining who she shares her heart with, and connecting with her ability to exercise personal power and say ‘No’, can play a huge role in solidifying her new ability to bring healthier and happier people and relationships into her life, and keep the toxic ones out.

As always, our dreams love us and want the best for us in all areas of life, especially when it comes to love and relationships. Pay attention to the messages from your dreams, they are one of the best inner guidance systems we have.

Ask The Dream Detective: from Mimi’s Dream Column for the New Spirit Journal

Have you ever dreamed that someone was breaking into your house? This is quite a common dream theme and can be very scary since most people fear that their dreams are literal. The good news is that usually they not literal, but symbolic. That said, even though the dream might not mean an imminent home invasion, it still contains a very important message and paying attention to it will benefit the dreamer greatly. To illustrate this universal theme and its meaning, here is a specific example in the form of a dream sent to me by a 27-year-old woman in Malaysia:

“I am in a house – my house in the dream but different than my real home – and I discover that the roof has a hole in it. Two men come in through the hole, and I tell them ‘Don’t do that!’ They don’t listen to me and come in anyway. Eventually they go outside to meet their friends, and some of them are wearing security uniforms. They don’t seem to want to hurt me, they just seem to want to have fun with their friends. They didn’t steal anything from me, so frustratingly I let them go.

Then I look up at the roof of the house and realize it is made of bag material, like from a school backpack, instead of roof tiles. I can see the sky through the hole in the roof. I also discover that I have an attic and there are men dwelling inside it! I ask my mom what they are doing in my house but she ignores me and just keeps doing her thing. I also remember walking through the house and noticing that some of the walls were cracked. The house was overall not in good condition and in need of some fixing.”

Through working with the dream, it became very clear to the dreamer that she was having boundary issues, especially with men. The dream outlines how men are invading her energetic field, symbolized by the house, and how she feels powerless to do anything about it. Her cries of ‘don’t do that!’ are ignored. When the men go outside she says they don’t seem to want to hurt her, and they didn’t steal anything, so in frustration she just lets them go and they get away with the invasion. As if breaking and entering weren’t enough!! In waking life this mirrored a relationship pattern with men where they would violate her boundaries and she would find ways to minimize, justify, and discount the impact of their actions – thereby minimizing and discounting her own power and violating her own boundaries in the process. Doing this was a natural repeat of what had been modelled for her growing up, as her family dynamics were a world-class training program in ‘how to get your boundaries violated’.

In the dream, some of the men were wearing security uniforms. While security guards are normally associated with protection and safety, these ones were more concerned with having fun with their friends. The dreamer’s association to this was that she did not feel emotionally or physically safe with unknown men. It seems also that the security guards slacking off could have to do with a lack of sense of safety and protection from the men in her life, as well as her own lack of self-protection in terms of setting and enforcing clear boundaries.

Even the dreamer’s mother is of no use when it comes to support or protection. In the dream, the mother just ignores her daughter’s concern over the invasion. The dreamer shared that her father was very volatile and abusive while she was growing up. When he wasn’t lashing out with his explosive temper, he was ignoring her and the rest of the family. She said she never felt safe at home. Is it any wonder that someone who never felt safe at home would have a dream that their home was being broken into? Not everyone who has this dream theme has this history, but in her case it was a relevant reference to how she literally felt at home.

And with parents who ignored her in waking life, her dream objections to the invasion being ignored are also very telling. It’s no leap that her current relationships with men are suffering as this is the relationship template she was provided by her family. At the end of the dream she describes the house having some cracked walls and needing some overall repairs. Walls can be symbols for barriers or boundaries, and this was another layer of symbolism reflecting the need to ‘fix and repair’ her boundaries as well as invest more in her self-care.

The dreamer really ‘got it’ when working with this dream. She said that she had always felt guilty when setting boundaries with her family and with men, and this dream helped her to see that it is a healthy and loving thing to do for herself. She felt a sense of relief at the idea that it was not only OK, but necessary, to have these boundaries for her personal growth, self-love, and sense of safety in the world, as well as in order to create a healthy romantic relationship in the future. Our psyche always knows where we need repairs, and will show us through the mysterious world of dream stories.

If you have a dream you’d like to share, contact me about private consultations  or the podcast.

Ask The Dream Detective: from Mimi’s Dream Column for the New Spirit Journal

CHEATING DREAMS

A 36 year old woman had the following recurring dream:

“I’ve been having dreams over the last 5 years that my husband is cheating on me. He is a really good guy and gives me no reason to suspect that he actually is, but when I wake up the dreams feel so real it scares me and I don’t know what to do.”

Dreams of being cheating on are quite common, and like with this dreamer they can make us feel very scared when we wake up, or very mad at our partner even though they didn’t actually do anything! Since the dream had been recurring for 5 years, I asked this dreamer if anything had changed 5 years prior, since recurring dreams are usually linked to something in our waking life. She said that was around the time he took a job requiring a lot of travel. By doing some more detective work we sleuthed that the dreams did indeed correlate with his business trips, either while he was away or about to leave. Dreams of cheating usually indicate that we are feeling cheating out of time with our partner. His travels became ‘the other woman’ in her dream world. Working with and understanding these recurring dreams, and sharing them with her husband, prompted them to plan special ‘date nights’ and carve out more time together while he was in town. This both reassured her psyche and fortified their relationship. After this awareness, and the consequent action they took to remedy the situation, she no longer had the recurring dreams even when he left town.

In another version of the ‘cheating dream’ sometimes we are the ones doing the cheating! For example, a different woman had a dream that she was cheating on her boyfriend. She had recently taken up a new hobby and was spending a lot of time in classes and practice groups for her new interest. Her boyfriend was not only fine with it, he was very actually very supportive of her pursing a passion and he enjoyed her newfound enthusiasm. However, she had some old programming that said it wasn’t OK to take care of her own needs while in a relationship. These old messages triggered feelings of guilt, which then created the dream story of her cheating on her boyfriend. We are all living unconscious stories that can be very strong drivers for how we run our lives. When we break the script of our story, even though it may be in a very healthy way, it can feel like we are doing something ‘wrong’ even though it is very right in the sense of enhancing our quality of life and our sense of connection to self and other. This dream brought to light her old programming and caused her to re-evaluate it, while at the same time it prompted her, like the previous dreamer, to add more quality time with her boyfriend to her busy schedule.

While these dreams may cause us to wonder ‘is my partner really cheating?’, or ‘am I a bad person for dreaming that I cheated?’, usually this dream is a metaphor. If you have reasons to believe your partner is actually having an affair, then do your homework to find out the truth so you can either put your mind at ease or make the necessary decisions to address the situation and take care of yourself. However, in the majority of cases this dream is a symbol of feeling like something is interfering with the relationship, but that something is not necessarily another person.

Whether it is our self or our partner who is the ‘cheater’, anything that feels like it takes away from our relationship can translate to the symbol of cheating. Factors such as working a lot of hours, caring for a family member, excess time spent on electronic devices, even physical or mental health issues such as chronic illness or depression can feel like they are taking away from our relationship. Our dreaming mind cares deeply about our relationships, and will show us when we need to tend to them to fulfill our spirit’s longing for connection. If you have this dream theme, consider it a message to explore the ways in which connection may have been compromised, and use it as a catalyst to repair and spend more time with the person you love.

Ask The Dream Detective: from Mimi’s Dream Column for the New Spirit Journal

THE JESTER, PRINCE, AND KING DREAM

A 17 year old woman had the following dream:

“I dreamed I was dating a jester and he loved me, but I didn’t like him at all. Then I dated a prince and he loved me and I loved him back. But then a king came along from another kingdom, and I left the prince for the king. The king loved me but only when I did what he wanted. Once I didn’t do what he wanted, I had to earn his love back but the prince was still hoping for my return and still loved me.”

This dream reminds me of the story of the three bears. When Goldilocks tries their porridge one is too hot and one is too cold, but the other is just right! On one level, the story in this dream is a reflection of a young woman finding her way when it comes to selecting an appropriate romantic partner. When discussing the dream, she described her ex-boyfriend as looking like the jester! According to her, he was somewhat immature and a bit of a class clown who seemed more concerned with what other people thought than with standing up for his own values and beliefs – or for those of his girlfriend. He would spend his energy trying to please outside people, even if he didn’t know them, rather than pleasing her or making her a priority. When we side with the waiter, for example, over our partner, when the waiter brings the wrong order, we are discounting the person we supposedly care about the most and placing a complete stranger above them. This is a recipe for relationship sabotage. According to top relationship expert Stan Tatkin, one of the keys to making a relationship work is to put each other first before any outside parties, and – get this – to treat each other like king and queen! No wonder a jester didn’t make the grade for her.

In the next part of the dream she dated a prince and the love was reciprocal. How nice! Finally, a good match. But then she left him for the king, who’s love was unfortunately very conditional. He only loved her when she did what he wanted. When we explored this dynamic, she had not actually had a boyfriend like this…yet; though her programming would likely lead her to one as this conditional approach to love was very reminiscent of her father. When she got good grades, and met with his approval she felt loved. But when she didn’t live up to his expectations he could be very disapproving and she felt like she had to earn his love back, just like she did with the king in the dream. She never felt loved or OK for just being herself, and always felt like she had to ‘perform’ to get his acceptance. Is it any wonder then, that she found a boyfriend who himself was a performer (symbolized by the jester in the dream) in the form of the ultimate people-pleaser?

This brings another layer of meaning to the dream, as we are very holographic creatures. If we look at the dream from an intra-psychic perspective (i.e. within her own psyche) we can see the jester not only as her ex-boyfriend, but as an energy within her own self that she was embodying. By jumping through every hoop her father expected her to, attempting to constantly please him rather than living true to her authentic self, she was embracing the energy of the people-pleasing-performance-oriented jester. In the dream, she eventually rejected the jester, as she did in waking life when she broke up with the jester-like boyfriend. To continue on the intra-psychic layer, the relationship with the prince very likely represents her connection with her true self, finding what she loves, and loving herself. She had glimpses of this feeling when involved in an extra-curricular school activity that she loved. She found that when she was enjoying her natural talents and interests and being true to herself she was able to connect with others on a very authentic level. She was able to make some great friends and get a taste of being liked for just being herself. However, the old patterning soon took over and she ditched the activity she loved to pursue an interest of her father’s, after much pressure from him. This is depicted symbolically in the dream when she leaves the prince for the king. Meanwhile, the friends that she made while participating in the activity she loved were beckoning her to come back, as was her soul! This is shown in the dream by the prince still hoping for her return, as well as his continued love for her.

What an intense dream. What seems like a short little fairy tale on the surface has so much to say not only about the dreamer’s romantic relationships, but about her connection to her true self. And when we shift the energies within our self, the energies of the outside world, including our relationships, shift as well. All her life, this dreamer had felt afraid of losing her father’s approval, and sacrificed her own desires to please him. The few times she did pursue her own interests were met not only with the external disapproval of her father, but an internal sense of guilt that she was doing something wrong because of his reactions. Working with this dream helped the dreamer to see these dynamics and gave her the validation, confirmation, and permission she needed to pursue that connection with her authentic self without guilt, which would then allow her to have a balanced romantic relationship and friendships as well. Long live the prince!

Ask The Dream Detective: from Mimi’s Dream Column for the New Spirit Journal

UNHEALTHY EATING

A 14 year old girl had the following dream:

 “I have recently been having recurring dreams that I am eating unhealthy food in very large portions.”

When I asked the dreamer if she had any ideas of what this dream might mean to her, she stated that she had been on a strict diet and was not consuming very much food at all. She said that she often felt hungry in waking life, and was especially pre-occupied with not eating anything that might be considered unhealthy. In the dream she felt anxious, and she reported sweating a lot in her sleep.

So, what do we make of this dream? Is it occurring because she has been depriving herself of food in waking life, or is it symbolic of something else? The only way to know is to check with the dreamer, since any dream can have a variety of possible interpretations. And, in this case, we actually do have a little bit of dream research to back us up as well. Studies have been conducted in which people were deprived of food, then monitored in a sleep lab to see what they were dreaming about. Can you guess? Yes, they dreamed about food. This very much fits with the above dreamer’s waking life experience. However, why did she dream of eating unhealthy food, rather than a sumptuous, nutritious feast? A different person under similar circumstances might dream of eating all of their favorite foods and experience pleasure, rather than anxiety, around it.

This young woman was putting a great deal of energy into not only eating sparsely, but into eating only healthy foods. She developed almost a fear of eating something unhealthy and ‘falling off the wagon’ so to speak. This theme can also show up in the dreams of recovered alcoholics, addicts, and former cigarette smokers. It is a reflection of the fear of going back to the old ‘unhealthy’ ways, and a reminder not to. What a relief to wake up from that dream. So, in this sense, the dreams are reflective our young dreamer’s fears as well.

What about the night sweats? The anxiety? It is very plausible that sweating in her sleep and the feeling of anxiety in the dream could have been physically triggered by low blood sugar from simply not eating enough before going to sleep. Whatever the body experiences physically can be incorporated into our dreams.

Aside from any biological basis, it is always important to look at emotional connections as well. I have seen many dreams about eating unhealthy food that have more to do with unhealthy relationships, or participating in things – not necessarily food related – that are ‘unhealthy’ for us in other ways. The food in these instances is a metaphor for something else. We explored this angle and the dreamer could not connect anything to her current waking life, so we came to the conclusion that in this case it was the hunger factor that caused the dreams, and the desire for health combined with low blood sugar that created the story of eating unhealthy food and feeling anxious about it.

Working with this recurring dream theme proved to be an eye-opening experience for the dreamer. She came to her own awareness that, while healthy eating was very important to her, perhaps she was taking the food deprivation part to a bit of an extreme in a way that was actually not healthy for her. Our dreams will show us where we are off-balance, and give us clues about how to restore balance. My belief is that we all have this knowledge within us, and our dreams are an amazing portal to access this information. I love to facilitate the process, but the dreamer comes to their own awareness by connection with their deepest and true self, and it is an honor to be part of the experience.

Artwork by Punny Pixels

Dreams love the use of puns and plays on words, as well as visually depicting both puns and verbal expressions. When listening to a dream I always have my radar up for any type of pun or imagery that might indicate another layer of meaning. Following are some examples.
A woman dreamed she was kissing a man, and much as she wanted it to be a good kiss his upper was sticking out in such a strange way that it just would not move. This image had her stumped and took some time to decipher. Eventually she said “why would his upper lip be so stiff?” and that’s when the light bulb went off! If you asked this dreamer what it meant to have a ‘stiff upper lip’, she might not have been able to tell you with her conscious mind as this was not a saying she used. However, when we explored the standard meanings of the phrase, it clicked. It turns out the person she was attempting to connect with was experiencing hurt feelings, yet trying to hide them. In this case it was not a romantic partnership, as kissing can be a symbol for connection of any kind. This was an employee she was interacting with on a work project, and her subconscious mind had clearly picked up that he was trying very hard not to show his hurt feelings regarding constructive feedback she had recently given him on how to improve his work. Even though consciously she was not sure she knew what the expression ‘stiff upper lip’ meant, her subconscious mind knew very well and found a visual way to illustrate this verbal saying. She was then able to show some compassion for her colleague and give him as much positive feedback as possible, in addition to ways to improve when necessary. The dream revealed emotional dynamics that were going on under the surface, in a way that allowed her to repair and improve their professional relationship going forward.
A man applied to a job for which he was exceptionally well qualified. He later found out that a friend of the boss – who was not as well qualified – was hired instead. That night the man had a dream that his friend Rob got the job instead of him. Since his friend Rob did not actually apply for the job or work in the same field in waking life, I asked the dreamer if he felt ‘robbed’ because he did not get the job. He said “Absolutely yes!” It’s always interesting to look at the names of people and things to see if they might double as words with another meaning. They don’t have to be spelled the same, as the non-linear mind does not care about logical things like spelling. For example, names of people such as: Mark, Jean, Melody, Bill, Rusty, Crystal, June, Hunter, and Patience can hold double meaning. Names of inanimate objects, and even car models such as Triumph, Fury, Swinger, and Dart can also hold another layer of significance.
A single woman who was looking for love had a dream she was checking the mail. Based on other factors in the dream, I asked her if it was possible she was ‘checking the male’ population around her, as in checking them out. It fit with the rest of the dream and what was relevant for her, and we had a good laugh.
A man found out I work with dreams and casually told me he had a dream that he was peeing on his neighbor. Since this was not a private session I just asked him quickly “Well, are you ‘pissed’ at him?” He laughed and said “YES!”
Now here is some fun for you. Look at the illustrations below…can you decipher the visual puns that are depicted? To find the answers, scroll to the bottom of the article, below my bio.

Artwork by Kathleen Kowal

Artwork by Kathleen Kowal

Artwork by Punny Pixels 

Artwork by Punny Pixels

Artwork by Punny Pixels

Artwork by Punny Pixels

Much thanks to Eunice Ng and Nandini Trivedi of Punny Pixels (check them out on Instagram!), and Kathleen Kowall Design and Illustration (check her out on Facebook!) for giving permission to use their fun and clever artwork to illustrate this article!

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Mimi Pettibone is the creator of the ‘Enchanted Art Oracle Cards’, and offers private consultations in dream interpretation and personal growth work focused on relationships, communication, and authentic life path. She works in person in Seattle, WA as well as by phone. Her background includes psychology, relationships & communication, spirituality, dreams, intuition, and consciousness. Mimi is also a monthly dream columnist for the New Spirit Journal 

Answer Key to Visual Puns:

Snail Mail

Grate (Great) Opportunity

Couch Potato

Brain Storm

Emotional Baggage

Negative Space

People often wonder when they dream of being romantic with someone, does it mean it will really happen? Whether it is an ex, a co-worker, or someone they have a crush on, this question can be very perplexing. The more intense or vivid the dream, the more it bothers us. It can also make us feel very awkward next time we see the person from our dream, even though they have no idea about it!

Kissing and sexual intimacy in dreams are symbols of connection and passion. So we look at who the dreamer is connecting with and what qualities that person represents to them. Then the dreamer can contemplate whether they currently are, or would like to be, connecting with those traits within themselves or in their life.

Sometimes these dreams can be about rehearsing what it’s like to be physically intimate with someone, and especially young adults will experience this before their first kiss. Whether or not it will happen with the person they dreamed about is not necessarily determined by the dream. However there are many documented cases of someone dreaming about their future partner before they actually meet them. This is not the most common thing, but it has happened many times, and I wonder if more people remembered their dreams perhaps we would hear even more cases reported.

Sometimes we dream of making out with someone we would never consider as a partner (casual or long-term) in waking life. We may even find them the complete opposite of attractive! At least on the surface. Whether the person is someone you know, a celebrity, or something in between, look at what that person represents to you and how you might be connecting with those traits (the ones you like) within yourself.

Many romantic dreams have nothing at all to do with actual romance. In that case look at what the dream has to say about your other passions in life such as your creativity or life purpose. Other dreams that do not contain elements of romance with another might actually have profound and meaningful insights about our relationships. The dreaming mind wants us to be happy and fulfilled, to live our purpose, and to love deeply. Listening to their messages can enhance both our quality of life and our relationships with our selves and with others.

Losing a loved one can be one of the most painful experiences we endure as human beings. However, it is not uncommon for us to dream of the person who crossed over, and wonder if it was really them visiting from the other side. In many cases, I believe the answer is YES! While some dreams serve the function of processing grief and loss or reviewing memories, there are also those that may indeed be actual visitations from the departed loved one. Commonly referred to as After Death Communication (A.D.C.) dreams, After Death Contact, or After Death Visitation dreams, this is an area of dream research that has been studied in depth. So how does one tell the difference between a ‘regular’ dream (If there is such a thing) and an A.D.C. dream? I am going to share with you some of the markers that set these dreams apart from others.

REALNESS

Most people report a sense of ‘realness’ to these dreams. They may be extremely vivid, and the dreamer wakes up with a sense of having actually been with that person. They may even experience smells such as grandma’s perfume, or grandpa’s cigar. While most dreams have a somewhat bizarre quality to them when run by the conscious mind, these are often more straightforward and ‘real’ feeling.

REASSURING

Usually after losing someone the last thing we feel is comforted, or a sense of lightness and peace, yet these dreams can bring those types of feeling to us. The departed loved one will usually bear messages of reassurance and love such as “I want you to know that I’m OK” and “I love you”. They may ask for forgiveness or apologize for things they did in human form which they now realize were hurtful.

HEALING

For example, a gay man and his father did not get along while the father was physically alive. The father never accepted or approved of his son being gay. But after the father passed away, the son received a visitation from him.  He came to to apologize for the way he treated his son, and told him how much he loved him.

YOUNGER

If the person was older when they passed, they may look younger when they come to visit. If they were sick, they often appear healthier and not in pain anymore. If these types of dreams were purely a conjuring of our own mind and nothing else, the person would likely look as they did the last time we saw them. However this is a common phenomena (though not a requirement as a marker of an A.D.C. dream). Sometimes the dreamer had no idea what the person looked like in their younger days…only to later see a picture and recognize them.

TIMING

These types of dreams tend to happen most often shortly after the person passes, during the first year, or on the 1 year anniversary of their crossing over. They can also occur much later, but are especially common during the first year. It may also happen on other significant dates or anniversaries such as birthdays or dates of special meaning to them.

BEDROOM

It is typical for the setting of an After Death Contact dream to be the dreamer’s bedroom. The loved one may come in and stand by or sit on the edge of the bed. Most dreams are not so realistic and their setting is almost never the actual place we are sleeping. We may even dream that we open our eyes, and there is our loved one. Or maybe we really are opening our eyes, as all of these experiences can take place in waking life as well. In the dream state we are more susceptible and open to any kind of psi phenomena and psychic information.
HOW TO INVITE THE EXPERIENCE

Sometimes people wonder “Why aren’t they coming to visit me?” Or maybe they came to visit your cousin, but not you. Many people don’t remember their dreams, so it is possible that we received a visitation dream and simply don’t remember it. If you would like to invite the experience, here are some things you can do. Talk to the person in your mind. Pray, if that fits your beliefs. Think strongly about the person that day. You can also simply ask them to come visit. What happens if they still don’t come? Don’t take it personally! They may be busy on the other side, learning things, getting their bearing. It may not be an easy task for them to come visit us, and some may have more of a knack for it than others. Similarly, some of us are more naturally able to receive the visitations that others.

HIGH RECEIVERS

Some people are naturally wired to be more sensitive and intuitive, and are ‘high receivers’ of telepathic and psychic experiences. These people are more prone to receiving ADC messages. Our loved ones on the other side seem to be aware of this, and may come through to a friend or relative who is a high receiver, asking them to deliver a message to someone else that they couldn’t get through to directly.

PETS

All of these same qualities of encounters apply to our beloved pets who are on the other side as well. Just like with people, if they were sick or struggling with physical issues, in the visitation they will often appear healthy and vibrant! People have reported smelling their pet, hearing them, and even seeing foot prints on the bed. If a pet crosses over before their person does, when the person later departs they may come back to visit us with their beloved pet, too!

ADC IN THE WAKING STATE

Many people also experience visitations from their loved ones while awake, not dreaming. It may manifest in different ways, including: lights, TV, or other electrical appliances turning on and off, books falling open to a relevant passage, butterflies, birds, rainbows, dragonflies, etc. appearing, or the smell of their perfume or other familiar scent that is ‘them’. These experiences are especially common around the birthday of the deceased, or anniversary of their passing, thought they can happen any time.

While none of these markers are requirements, and certainly by no means do all of them need to be present to indicate a visitation dream, these are many of the common threads that have been experienced by people all over the world. Most of these people had no idea that others were having very similar encounters with their departed loved ones. When something is experienced by so many people, without prior knowledge that others have had similar experiences, it is a pretty good confirmation that these experiences are real. To me it is of great comfort as well.

Many of us have experienced the phenomenon of having a dream within a dream. But what does it mean, and why does it happen? There are many theories and different ways the experience can play out. Some involve false awakenings, some also include lucid dreaming, and sometimes we even remember a dream from a previous time while in a current dream (a common one for this dreamer!) Let’s explore some of these variations and the theories behind their possible meanings.

FALSE AWAKENINGS

A false awakening is when we think we wake up from a dream, and we go about doing what we would normally do when we get up, such as brushing our teeth or walking to the kitchen to get breakfast. Sometimes things seem perfectly normal, other times something seems a little ‘off’ due to the dream-like alterations to our waking reality. Especially when things are a little ‘off’, the dreamer may be triggered into lucidity and become aware of the fact that they are dreaming. Other times, a person believes they are waking up, but they really going into yet another false awaking! This can happen multiple times in a row for some people.

If you find yourself unsure of whether you are experiencing a false awakening, or are really awake, try recalling something of a linear nature such as your address. The dreaming mind is non-linear so it will be harder to recall things like numbers. Also check out your surroundings and do some ‘reality checks’ as to the nature of your environment, whether it is the same as in waking or not. Some say if you get out of bed and are not sure if you are in a false awakening, explore your environment and soon you will be able to tell if you are in a dreamscape. Walking into another room can be a good way to test out the landscape for which reality you are in.

While some will categorize a false awakening as a dream within a dream, to me there is a difference. A false awakening is marked by the sense waking up and doing what we would normally do when we get out of bed. A ‘dream within a dream’ can be more complex in terms of potential depth of meaning, as we will explore next.

A DREAM WITHIN A DREAM

There are a number of theories postulated as to why we experience a dream within a dream, and what it might mean. Freud thought that the material in the embedded dream was of a nature that we were not yet ready to face, and so we subconsciously buried, or encapsulated, it within another dream in order to be even less aware of it consciously. To me this does not necessarily make sense as we usually remember both the first and second dream equally. If the content was so disturbing that our mind was trying to ‘hide’ it from us, we would likely not remember it at all.

Though some theorists have agreed with Freud, other have not. His theory has been criticized for dismissing the encapsulating dream and focusing only on the dream within the dream. He also did not take into consideration how the two dreams might be related.

To me this is a much more likely and useful theory that offers more depth of exploration regarding the relationship between the two dreams. It is a much more fascinating approach as well.

HOW THE TWO DREAMS RELATE TO EACH OTHER

This is where it gets interesting. While there is no one set way to look at the relationship between the two dreams, here are some interesting perspectives to take into consideration. If you have a dream within a dream, see if any of these fit for you.

– One dream may outline a problem, and the other may provide a solution.

– One dream may show an ‘if this…’, the other may show a ‘then that…’ scenario. This is actually a hypothesis of why our other dreams seem to suddenly jump scenes in a way that seems totally unrelated. Maybe it can apply to dreams within dreams as well.

– The two dreams may provide different potential solutions or outcomes to a given situation.

– The two dreams may show one issue from two different perspectives.

– Notice the transition point where the first dream ends. What is the dreamer feeling or experiencing, and where in the story does the person ‘wake up’ to the next dream? Is the feeling or story break of significance to how the dreams relate to each other, or to the person’s life?

– Are the two dreams very similar in nature, or do they hold contrasting energies?

– Whether the dreams are similar or contrasting, how might this be significant or of relevance to the dreamer?

– Is one dream a continuation of the other, or a commentary on it?

– Could either of the dreams serve to prepare us for a potential outcome in waking life?

ANXIETY DREAM WITHIN A DREAM

One possible manifestation of the dream within the dream is to take the form of an anxiety dream. Some people dream they wake up and believe they are late for work or school, only to realize they are still dreaming, and then have the whole process repeat itself. Other times the person thinks they wake up and go to write the dream down, only to realize they are also still dreaming when the words drift off the page or some other variation of waking reality occurs. The latter may be more of a false awakening, depending on the emotions experienced by the dreamer during the dream.

WAKING UP TO SOMETHING IN OUR LIFE

Sometimes waking up within a dream can be symbolic of ‘waking up’ to something in our life. When we reach a new level of conscious awareness that we previously did not have, it may show up in this type of dream experience. Whether we are attaining this insight in the dream only, or we have become aware of it in waking life, our consciousness has realized – or ‘woken up’ to – something in regards of which we previously were ‘asleep’.

FALLING ASLEEP IN OUR CONSCIOUSNESS

On the opposite side of this coin, sometimes we dream that we are falling asleep! This can be symbolic of something that we are ‘closing our eyes’ to, or going unconscious of, in our waking life. Take note, as this kind of un-awareness is what gets us into trouble when we don’t realize we are doing it. And we don’t usually realize it because we are unconscious of it! However a dream can point out the fact that we are doing this, so by taking note we can remedy the situation by bringing our conscious awareness back into the picture.

NESTED LOOPS

The dream within a dream reminds me of a concept in hypnosis called ‘nested loops’. In this technique, the hypnotherapist uses metaphor (also used by dreams, of course) to create stories relevant to the client’s problem. The hypnotherapist decides how many layers of stories she wants to use (for example 3, 5, or more), and then begins by telling the first story, only to drop off part way through and begin the second story. This process is continued until the deepest layer of story is reached and this story is completed to resolution. Now the hypnotherapist goes back to the second to last story and finishes it, providing positive resolution and ‘closing the loop’ so to speak. She continues this on back up the chain all the way until the first story is finished and resolved in a way that metaphorically provides a resolution to the problem the client wanted to address. I can’t help but wonder if the dream within a dream might be using a similar approach, though we usually don’t go back to the previous dream to resolve it, the concept is an interesting one.
And I can’t help but end this article with the famous poem by Edgar Allen Poe:

A DREAM WITHIN A DREAM – POEM BY EDGAR ALLEN POE

Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow-
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand-
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep- while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?