This Sunday I am thrilled to be a guest instructor as part of a 2 hour class that includes some of my all time FAVORITE topics: The Law of Attraction, Dating and Dreams!
I will be teaching a 1/2 hour segment on how our dreams can help us with our relationships as part of a dating workshop held by matchmaker Renessa Rios of Three Step Dating. She will be talking about how to apply Law of Attraction to dating, and I will address how our dreams can enhance this.  Read more below!

Dreams, Dating and The Law of Attraction

The Law of Attraction involves the workings of the subconscious mind, and our dreams are the most honest and accurate reflection of that.  Did you know that your dreams can help you with your relationships?
Understanding our night time dreams can give us new insights into our relationships from an objective perspective.  What is stopping you from having the relationship you desire…Is it other people? Or have you built internal barriers against it? Our dreams show us what other people are doing that may or may not be healthy for us, as well as what we are doing to get in our own way.
Common questions will also be addressed, such as:
If I dream about my ex, should I call them?
If I dream about my ex, does it mean they are thinking of me?

Renessa will talk about ‘The Secret’ to applying the Law of Attraction to your dating life.  It should be an interesting and fun class.

We hope to see you there!

DATE: Sunday, August 19
TIME:  5:30-7:30pm
LOCATION:  Studio C Workshop
13256 NE 20th St #7
Bellevue, WA   98005
United States

The class will be two hours:
1-1/2 hour dating class taught by Renessa,
1/2 hour guest segment on dreams & dating taught by Mimi.

Prepaid Tickets: $25.00
Door Tickets: $30.00

To Register, go here:
http://guestlistapp.com/events/117048

Hypnogogic State – The transitional, twilight state between being awake and falling asleep. In this state it is common for paranormal phenomena to occur, including auditory and/or visual hallucinations, out of body experiences, sleep paralysis and sleep paralysis attacks.

Hypnopompic State – Same as the hypnogogic state, except this term refers to the transition from sleep to waking.

Out of Body Experience (O.B.E.) –  When a person’s consciousness leaves the body and is able to observe the physical surroundings such as the bedroom they are in.  This may also involve travelling around, yet still viewing the physical surroundings as we know them in waking reality.

Near Death Experience (N.D.E.) – (a form of O.B.E.) A person may be pronounced clinically dead, only to later come back to life later.  Many will report conversations they overheard (for example between surgeons at the operating table if they died in a hospital) that are later confirmed, and the person would have had no way of knowing this information otherwise. This brings up the interesting and fascinating distinction between mind and brain, as consciousness (mind) is surviving without and beyond the death of the physical matter (brain).

Astral Projection –  When consciousness leaves the physical body and travels, similar to an Out of Body Experience, but the travel is through a more dream like, other worldly realm.

Lucid Dreaming – Becoming aware of the fact that one is dreaming during the experience of having a dream.  For more information read Robert Waggoner’s fascinating book “Lucid Dreaming”.  For more info, go here: https://www.thedreamdetective.com/faq.html#lucid

After Death Contact (A.D.C.) – When a deceased loved one comes to visit us in our dreams.  While some dreams of loved ones who have crossed over are ways of processing our loss, other are reported as feeling very ‘different’ than regular dreams. Some of the hallmarks of A.D.C. dreams are that they feel very real, as if the loved one were actually with the dreamer.  The dreamer may report smelling grandma’s perfume or grandpa’s cigar, and often the dream takes place in the dreamer’s bedroom, which is not the case for most dreams.  Sometimes a dream ‘already in progress’ may be interrupted by the appearance the deceased loved one, who almost always brings messages of comfort and love in any of these scenarios.  Many people also have these dreams of former pets who have crossed over as well.

Shared Dreams or Mutual Dreaming – The experience of having the same dream at the same time as another person.  Usually this occurs between people who are emotionally close such as siblings, close friends, family members or romantic partners. The degree of the ‘shared’ experience may vary from part of each person’s dream being the same (overlapping), to the entire dream being identical for both dreamers.  People sometimes intend for a shared dream experience, visualizing it and agreeing on a meeting spot before going to sleep.

Sleep Paralysis – In R.E.M. sleep our body becomes paralyzed so that we don’t physically act out what we are dreaming about, as this could be very harmful to our self and others.  When we wake up the paralysis releases, however sometimes there is a ‘glitch in the system’ where the paralysis takes a little longer to release.  Becoming conscious and finding that the body is paralyzed can be a terrifying experience that about 20-30% of the population will experience at some time. However, it usually resolves itself and is nothing to be afraid of.

Sleep Paralysis Attacks – A phenomenon that sometimes occurs during the state of sleep paralysis, where the dreamer reports a visitation. The visitor is most often described as either a dark, shadowy figure, or something know as ‘the old hag’, who is reported to look something like a Halloween witch. This phenomenon has been reported all over the world through out history.  Researcher David Hufford wrote a book about this called ‘The Terror that Comes in the Night’.

Nightmares – Scary dreams that often will wake us up with a pounding heart and covered in sweat.  These are R.E.M. dreams and are important to pay attention to when working through life’s difficulties.  If a nightmare relives a trauma and repeats with no progression or resolution over time, this would indicate a P.T.S.D. nightmare and professional guidance with an experienced professional is recommended.

Night Terrors – Different than a nightmare, these do not occur in R.E.M. sleep, but rather in stage 4, or the deepest, non-dream sleep. Often night terrors cause the sufferer to scream out loud, but upon waking they will have no recollection of any kind of dream or what happened.

Daydreams – A relaxed state (similar to a hypnotic trance) where creativity, imagination, problem solving and learning consolidation occur.  As part of our circadian rhythm (similar to the 90 minute cycles between R.E.M. dreams when asleep), we have a natural tendency to daydream about every 70-120 minutes through out the day.

Precognitive Dreams – Dreams that pick up on potentials for the future that may or may not play out. There have been reports of people who have had a precognitive dream and later recognized a dangerous situation in waking life because of the dream.  They were then able to make a course correction to prevent the potential negative outcome because the dream provided them with the warning and awareness to do this.

Clairvoyant Dreams –  A dream during which the dreamer is able to witnesses an outside event (happening in waking reality) at the same time it is actually occurring.

Empathic telepathy –  Similar to a clairvoyant dream, except that instead of witnessing an event as an outside observer during the dream, the dreamer experiences the event as if it were happening to them – in a sense assuming the identity of someone that the waking life event is actually happening to.

Scientists believe that if whales and dolphins do dream, it is for very short spurts at a time. When they sleep, only half of their brain shuts down, while the other half remains alert enough to be aware of predators and other threats. This state is likley similar to that twilight period we experience between waking and sleeping. During sleep they will also keep one eye open.  After about 2 hours they will reverse the process, shutting down the other half of the brain and opening the other eye.  Dolphins often sleep in pairs, and the one eye that each keeps open will be facing the other. 
While our breathing is regulated by the subconscious mind – we don’t have to think about it – their breathing is actually a conscious process, and they must stay at least partially awake to ensure they will breathe often enough. They also are usually swimming at least to some degree while they are sleeping, and during R.E.M. (dreaming) sleep the body becomes paralyzed. So dreaming for any extended period of time would not be conducive to the survival of these animals.
What about sleep talking, or learning during sleep? Researchers in France recently recorded some dolphins talking in their sleep! 5 dolphins were born in captivity and live in an aquarium where they put on shows every day. One day the show’s theme music included songs of the humpback whale. About a month later the researchers noticed that while the dolphins were sleeping, they started making whale sounds. When the recordings were played back for biologists, many of them thought they were listening to whales, not dolphins. I guess these intelligent creatures are bi-lingual!

Written by Dr. Judith Orloff, Author of ‘Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself from Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life’

Relationship Secrets for Highly Empathic People

Loneliness gets to some more than others. But why it hangs on isn’t always apparent when read by traditional medical eyes. In my psychiatric practice in Los Angeles and in my workshops I’ve been struck by how many sensitive, empathic people who I call “emotional empaths” come to me, lonely, wanting a romantic partner, yet remaining single for years. Or else they’re in relationships but feel constantly fatigued and overwhelmed. The reason isn’t simply that “there aren’t enough emotionally available people ‘out there,'” nor is their burnout “neurotic.” Personally and professionally, I’ve discovered that something more is going on.

In “Emotional Freedom” I describe emotional empaths as a species unto themselves. Whereas others may thrive on the togetherness of being a couple, for empaths like me, too much togetherness can be difficult, may cause us to bolt. Why? We tend to intuit and absorb our partner’s energy, and become overloaded, anxious, or exhausted when we don’t have time to decompress in our own space. We’re super-responders; our sensory experience of relationship is the equivalent of feeling objects with 50 fingers instead of five. Energetically sensitive people unknowingly avoid romantic partnership because deep down they’re afraid of getting engulfed. Or else, they feel engulfed when coupled, a nerve-wracking, constrictive way to live. If this isn’t understood, empaths can stay perpetually lonely. We want companionship, but, paradoxically, it doesn’t feel safe. One empath patient told me, “It helps explain why at 32 I’ve only had two serious relationships, each lasting less than a year.” Once we empaths learn to set boundaries and negotiate our energetic preferences, intimacy becomes possible.

For emotional empaths to be at ease in a relationship, the traditional paradigm for coupling must be redefined. Most of all, this means asserting your personal space needs — the physical and time limits you set with someone so you don’t feel they’re on top of you. Empaths can’t fully experience emotional freedom with another until they do this. Your space needs can vary with your situation, upbringing, and culture. My ideal distance to keep in public is at least an arm’s length. In doctors’ waiting rooms I’ll pile my purse and folders on the seats beside me to keep others away.

With friends it’s about half that. With a mate it’s variable. Sometimes it’s rapture being wrapped in his arms; later I may need to be in a room of my own, shut away. One boyfriend who truly grasped the concept got me a “Keep Out” sign for my study door! For me, this was a sign of true love. All of us have an invisible energetic border that sets a comfort level. Identifying and communicating yours will prevent you from being bled dry by others. Then intimacy can flourish, even if you’ve felt suffocated before. Prospective mates or family members may seem like emotional vampires when you don’t know how to broach the issue of personal space. You may need to educate others — make clear that this isn’t about not loving them — but get the discussion going. Once you can, you’re able to build progressive relationships.

If you’re an empath or if the ordinary expectations of coupledom don’t jibe with you practice the following tips.

Define your personal space needs

Tip 1. What to say to a potential mate

As you’re getting to know someone, share that you’re a sensitive person, that you periodically need quiet time. The right partner will be understanding; the wrong person will put you down for being “overly sensitive,” and won’t respect your need.

Tip 2. Clarify your preferred sleep style

Traditionally, partners sleep in the same bed. However, some empaths never get used to this, no matter how caring a mate. Nothing personal; they just like their own sleep space. Speak up about your preferences. Feeling trapped in bed with someone, not getting a good night’s rest, is torture. Energy fields blend during sleep, which can overstimulate empaths. So, discuss options with your mate. Separate beds. Separate rooms. Sleeping together a few nights a week. Because non-empaths may feel lonely sleeping alone, make compromises when possible.

Tip 3. Negotiate your square footage needs

You may be thrilled about your beloved until you live together. Experiment with creative living conditions so your home isn’t a prison. Breathing room is mandatory. Ask yourself, “What space arrangements are optimal?” Having an area to retreat to, even if it’s a closet? A room divider? Separate bathrooms? Separate houses? I prefer having my own bedroom/office to retreat to. I also can see the beauty of separate wings or adjacent houses if affordable. Here’s why: conversations, scents, coughing, movement can feel intrusive. Even if my partner’s vibes are sublime, sometimes I’d rather not sense them even if they’re only hovering near me. I’m not just being finicky; it’s about maintaining well-being if I live with someone.

Tip 4. Travel wisely

Traveling with someone, you may want to have separate space too. Whether my companion is romantic or not, I’ll always have adjoining rooms with my own bathroom. If sharing a room is the only option, hanging a sheet as a room divider will help. “Out of sight” may make the heart grow fonder.

Tip 5. Take regular mini-breaks

Empaths require private downtime to regroup. Even a brief escape prevents emotional overload. Retreat for five minutes into the bathroom with the door shut. Take a stroll around the block. Read in a separate room. One patient told her boyfriend, “I need to disappear into a quiet room for ten minutes at a party, even if I’m having fun,” a form of self-care that he supports.

In my medical practice, I’ve seen this creative approach to relationships save marriages and make ongoing intimacies feel safe, even for emotional empaths (of all ages) who’ve been lonely and haven’t had a long-term partner before. Once you’re able to articulate your needs, emotional freedom in your relationships is possible.

Here is Part 2 of Christel Broederlow’s article on Empaths:

Empaths are often poets in motion. They are the born writers, singers, and artists with a high degree of creativity and imagination. They are known for many talents as their interests are varied, broad and continual, loving, loyal and humorous. They often have interests in many cultures and view them with a broad-minded perspective. They are mother, father, child, friend, nurse, caregiver, teacher, doctor, sales people… to psychic, clairvoyant, healer, etc. (That is not to say that any of these categories are all empaths.) The list is extensive and really unimportant. It is more important to notice that empaths are everywhere–in every culture and throughout the world.

Empaths Are Good Listeners

Empaths are often very affectionate in personality and expression, great listeners and counselors (and not just in the professional area). They will find themselves helping others and often putting their own needs aside to do so. In the same breath, they can be much the opposite. They may be quiet, withdrawn from the outside world, loners, depressed, neurotic, life’s daydreamers, or even narcissistic.

They are most often passionate towards nature and respect its bountiful beauty. One will often find empaths enjoying the outdoors, beaches, walking, etc. Empaths may find themselves continually drawn to nature as a form of release. It is the opportune place to recapture their senses and gain a sense of peace in the hectic lives they may live. The time to get away from it all and unwind with nature becomes essential to the empath. Animals are often dear to the heart of empaths, not as a power object, but as a natural love. It is not uncommon for empaths to have more than one pet in their homes.

Traits of an Empath

Empaths are often quiet and can take a while to handle a compliment for they’re more inclined to point out another’s positive attributes. They are highly expressive in all areas of emotional connection, and talk openly, and, at times, quite frankly in respect to themselves. They may have few problems talking about their feelings.

However, they can be the exact opposite: reclusive and apparently unresponsive at the best of times. They may even appear ignorant. Some are very good at blocking out others and that’s not always a bad thing, at least for the learning empath struggling with a barrage of emotions from others, as well as their own feelings.

Empaths have a tendency to openly feel what is outside of them more so than what is inside of them. This can cause empaths to ignore their own needs. In general an empath is non-violent, non-aggressive and leans more towards being the peacemaker. Any area filled with disharmony creates an uncomfortable feeling in an empath. If they find themselves in the middle of a confrontation, they will endeavor to settle the situation as quickly as possible, if not avoid it all together. If any harsh words are expressed in defending themselves, they will likely resent their lack of self-control, and have a preference to peacefully resolve the problem quickly.

Empaths are sensitive to TV, videos, movies, news and broadcasts. Violence or emotional dramas depicting shocking scenes of physical or emotional pain inflicted on adults, children or animals can bring an empath easily to tears. At times, they may feel physically ill or choke back the tears. Some empaths will struggle to comprehend any such cruelty, and will have grave difficulty in expressing themselves in the face of another’s ignorance, closed-mindedness and obvious lack of compassion. They simply cannot justify the suffering they feel and see.

People of all walks of life and animals are attracted to the warmth and genuine compassion of empaths. Regardless of whether others are aware of one being empathic, people are drawn to them as a metal object is to a magnet! They are like beacons of light.

Even complete strangers find it easy to talk to empaths about the most personal things, and before they know it, they have poured out their hearts and souls without intending to do so consciously. It is as though on a sub-conscious level that person knows instinctively that empaths would listen with compassionate understanding.

Here are the listeners of life. Empaths are often problem solvers, thinkers, and studiers of many things. As far as empaths are concerned, where a problem is, so too is the answer. They often will search until they find one–if only for peace of mind.

Written by Christel Broederlow Copyright (c) 2002 Christel Broederlow Shortened Version from The Empath Report 101

About this contributor: Christel Broederlow is a natural born empath and author of numerous articles about empathy through personal experience and continual research. Her Web site, The Empath Report, previously hosted at Geocities is no longer active.

Here is another entry from my website via “Ask The Dream Detective”:

If your dream were a movie, what would you title it?: The Disorganized Hiker

General feeling of this dream: Rushed/Anxious

Tell me your dream here:

“I have had three dreams recently, two that I can really remember where I’m trying to leave for a hiking trip/adventure in nature and can not find my backpack or cannot pack it properly when find it.

In the first dream I remember I was hiking up through this shallow but fast river with a friend who I don’t remember if I recognize. I wasn’t wearing proper shoes and was carrying my supplies in a tote bag.  Though the river was shallow were i was I could tell it was getting higher and higher and faster and faster.

The rest of our group was up ahead and I felt the desire to be at the front with them but felt like I was un prepared and that my tote bag was going to get wet and weigh me down.

I stopped on the side of the river at a cafe and two men joined me. We had cool beverages on the patio behind the cafe and I told them about my desire to catch up with the rest of the group and that I needed a backpack to do so. One of the man’s parents showed up in car and told me they could bring me a backpack and that was the end of my dream.

I had one dream about a back pack and hiking in between this one and the next one I can remember.

Last night I was dreaming and there were a lot of things going on but eventually I ended up in a kinda garage/cabin. My parents were there and they told me that we needed to leave soon for our camping/backpacking trip. I looked down and I had this duffle bag that at first didn’t seem so large but definitely cumbersome to carry.

I decided I would need to move the essentials into a smaller backpacking back pack and so i began going through my duffle.

I pulled out 5 pairs of shoes and tried them all on to see which ones would work for my trip. They were all different variations of sport shoes/hiking boots and finally I chose the ones that most resembled the boots I have in real life.

While I was going through all my clothes the pile seemed to get larger and larger and my dream ended before I could pack my back pack properly.”

Dear Dreamer,
It seems clear that there is some area of your life where you are feeling rushed, anxious, unprepared, and like you need to catch up with your peers. I see recurring themes with the river ahead getting faster and faster, the clothes piles getting larger and larger, also the cumbersome duffle bag. These all seem to represent the feeling of some kind of surmounting task that feels like it just keeps getting bigger, and is a big load to carry that could ‘weigh you down’. The fact of the back pack makes me think of school and I wonder if you are in school and feeling like you need to catch up with the rest of your peers, and like the ‘load’ just keeps getting bigger.  If you are not in school ask yourself what area of life these descriptions fit. Then give yourself some credit for being out there, carrying that load, and ‘getting your feet wet’!
I hope this helps,
Mimi

Here is a dream experience submitted via my website:

“Well sometimes I would take a nap during the day or go to bed. The past two night and earlier I would take a short nap because I’m busy doing something. And I start to sleep and have a piece of a dream and I jump when I wake up. The first time in the dream I was in school and I was going to a classroom and the door slammed in my face and I woke up. The second time I don’t remember what happen. It just started happening and I’m trying to figure out why I started doing that.”

Dear Dreamer,
You could be experiencing something called a ‘hypnic jerk’ or ‘myclonic twitch’.  It’s called a hypnic jerk, or hypnogigic jerk, because it happens in the hypnogogic state – that tranistionary state between being awake and asleep.  So the dream you are having is not an R.E.M. dream, but something more similar to daydreaming (only a little deeper). In the process of falling asleep, we are entering into lower brainwave states. For some reason, that translates physiologically into the sense of ‘falling’ for a lot of us, which is why they call it ‘falling asleep’.  You didn’t mention the falling sensation, but when the body experiences this transition it is common for the muscles to contract and that can come out as legs kicking, or a feeling of jumping like when someone startles you (for example).  I don’t know if the slamming door sound really happened and you incorporated it into the dream, or if your dreaming mind created something to explain the sensation of feeling startled (this may sound weird but that dream state can be a few seconds -or more- ahead of waking time).  What is causing this? Could be irregular sleep schedules, sleep deprivation, anxiety, even drugs and medication can trigger this sensation. But the truth is nobody really knows for sure what causes this. You mentioned you are napping, so I wonder if you are on an irregular sleep schedule, and that could be the trigger.  It is likely just a temporary thing that you don’t need to worry about long term, especially if you can figure out the trigger and adjust accordingly.

I hope this helps,

Mimi

On May 18, 19 & 20th The Evergreen State College (my Alma Mater) will be hosting a reunion weekend called “Return to Evergreen”, filled with seminars and celebrations.

On Saturday May 19th I will be proudly co-facilitating a seminar called ‘Altered States Greener Style: Consciousness, Dreams and Spirituality’.   I will be representing the ‘Dreams’ element, professor Heesoon Jun specializes in multicultural issues and mindfulness, and fellow alumnus Adam Sher who is an expert in the noosphere.  Together we will pool our resources for an interesting and thought provoking seminar!

http://www.evergreen.edu/40/return/sessions.htm

Do you know your Love Language? Better yet, the love language of those most important to you? If you understand what makes your loved one(s) feel more loved, you can better express your feelings in ways that mean the most to them. Here is a summary of the 5 Love Languages, from the work of Dr. Gary Chapman

Words of Affirmation:
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

Quality Time
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

Receiving Gifts
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.

Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

Physical Touch
This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

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From http://www.5lovelanguages.com

We tend to speak in generalized terms of dreams happening in the unconscious (or subconscious) mind, or how it happens mostly in the right (intuitive) brain and that the left (logical) brain goes ‘offline’ during sleep (with exceptions such as lucid dreaming).  While these generalizations may apply, it is much more complicated than that. There are many parts of the brain involved during REM dreaming and the different stages of sleep.

If you have ever been curious about what parts of the brain are active during dreaming, here is an amazingly comprehensive article written by Bob Hoss:

http://dreamscience.org/idx_science_of_dreaming_section-3.htm

GREAT research and explanation. Thanks, Bob!