A dreamer writes:
My first love and I were together when I was in high school.  He went of to college for a few years, and has been back in town for close to 2 years now. We have been dating, and intimate. I really like this guy and want to pursue something more with him. He tells me he is not ready and I understand this completely. Last night I had a dream he told me he was gay! I’m confused.

Answer:
Dreams are metaphors, usually not literal.  So we look at the symbolism: A gay man is someone who is unavailable for a relationship with a woman.  This mirrors perfectly the waking life situation of him telling you he is not ready for a serious relationship.  That doesn’t necessarily mean he will never be (he may or may not), however your subconscious mind is showing you what you already know, which is that he is not available for a serious relationship at this time.
Only you can know what’s best for you to proceed moving forward. I would like to encourage you to use and trust your own intuition to guide you through this.  And keep listening to your dreams!
Thank you for writing.

July 19th, 2013 by Mimi

If you have ever wondered what is the difference between traditional psychotherapy, coaching, hypnotherapy, and everything in between, here is a GREAT article by the highly talented Stephen Gilligan. He does his own style of work called Generative Coaching, in which he works with both the conscious mind and the subconscious mind. My work is very aligned with his philosophy and I also work with both the conscious and subconscious. He describes it so well I wanted to share his article here:

Generative Coaching: 
The Practical Use of Creative Consciousness
Stephen Gilligan, Ph.D.
Encinitas, CA
www.StephenGilligan.com

Helping people to improve their lives is one of the world’s oldest professions.  It has assumed many forms—philosophy, fortune telling, shamanic healing, religious rituals, informal relationships, psychotherapy, and so forth—but the underlying process of people seeking guidance for life changes has endured.  The practice of generative coaching, that I have co-developed with Robert Dilts, is a third generation version of the more recent tradition of professional people helpers.1 This brief paper overviews generative coaching, first by briefly situating it in a historical context and then outlining the five basic steps of the approach.

 

Generative Coaching: A Third Generation Approach

 

Over the past century, many different methods for helping people to change have been developed.  Relevant to coaching, we can distinguish three generations of such approaches. The first is traditional psychotherapy, initially developed by Freud and others.   Here the focus is primarily on problems (often thought of as “mental disease”) and the past (in terms of negative events that “caused” present problems).  The idea is that intellectual understanding of historical causation will free the person from the grip of their problems. It is essentially re-hashing the past to try to free up the present, with the therapist a distant expert figure who diagnoses the pathology of the client.

 

For many, this approach was not attractive because it (a) took too long, (b) was very expensive, (c) pathologized and stigmatized people, and (d) often produced little or no real-world changes.  In response, a second generation of change approaches emphasized a person’s resources and positive goals, action over analysis, and solution-focused future orientation.  These approaches developed first within psychotherapy, with diverse brief therapy methods such as the Gestalt therapy of Fritz Perls, the Transactional Analysis of Eric Berne, and the hypnotic utilization approaches of Milton Erickson.

 

Concomitantly, the related field of the human potential movement arose in the 1960s and 70s.  It rejected authoritarian and pathologizing approaches in favor of positive changes through increased awareness, self-actualization, and altered states of consciousness.  These new methods shared a client-based, positive-oriented view that stood in stark contrast to the first generation.

 

These second-generation approaches constellated in the 1990s’s with the emergence of what might now be called traditional coaching.  Coaching was not for “sick” or “damaged” patients, but for healthy people seeking to improve their professional and personal lives.  Freed of the “crazy” stigma and strict hierarchies, coaching was attractive to many people, and has found applications in a number areas, such as life development, business, health, and sports.

 

However, in positioning itself as a counter-point to traditional therapy, coaching declared areas like emotional work and internal consciousness to be taboo or irrelevant.  We believe that such restrictions are unhelpful and unnecessary, and that the best  coaching involves equal attention to the “outer game” of a person’s goals, lived experiences, and practical choices; as well as to what Tim Gallwey (2000) calls the “inner game” of a person’s state of consciousness.  Such an approach assumes that all reality and identity are constructed, and that a person’s or group’s state—e.g., their beliefs, intentions, perceptions, somatic patterning, and cognitive meanings—is the base for such constructions (Gilligan, 2012). This orientation to integrating various dualities in a “both/and” approach—internal/external, problems/resources, past/future, cognitive/somatic, etc.—constitutes what we call third-generation approaches.

 

To understand the differences between these three generations of change work, a brief example might be helpful.  John is a 40 year old man living with his mother, struggling as a telemarketer.  If he came to traditional psychotherapy, he would likely be diagnosed in terms of some mental disorder that he is trapped in—e.g., depression, anxiety, character disorder—and the work would focus on either medicating him, removing the symptoms by understanding their historical causes (e.g., negative childhood experiences).or challenging his negative or non-reality based thinking.  Traditional coaching would give more primary attention to his positive, future-oriented goals (e.g., starting a business) and seek to identify the resources (mentors, associates, positive associations) and actions needed to practically achieve it.

 

Generative coaching would ensure his goals/intentions are congruent and resonant (as will be elaborated below), then look to develop his best state of consciousness to allow the positive intention to be realized.  This attunement to an optimal state might include somatic centering; identifying and transforming negative beliefs; accessing and integrating a variety of resources; ensuring action plans; identifying and transforming negative emotions and relationships relevant to the goal; and opening to a creative consciousness.

 

Thus, we see generative coaching as a broader and deeper type of work than traditional coaching.  In emphasizing that a person is responsible for creating their own life, it invites people to learn how they can realize their dreams by mastering their own creative consciousness. While it maintains a positive orientation to the future and “infinite possibilities”, it sees all of a person’s experience—positive and negative internal states, beliefs, historical experiences, creative imaginations, somatic states, etc.—as potential resources to achieving these positive goals.  To understand this process a bit more, we now turn to the five basic steps of generative coaching.

To read the rest of his article on generative coaching, click here:  http://stephengilligan.com/blog/blog-7/

June 25th, 2013 by Mimi

This Saturday I will be teaching a dream workshop that is open to the public:

DATE: Saturday, June 22, 2013
TIME: 1-3pm
COST: $30 (register at the door)
LOCATION: 700 Warren Avenue North, Seattle, WA (the building is a blue house, on the corner of Roy St. and Warren Ave N)

WORKSHOP DESCRIPTION:

Dreams are a fascinating source of information that can help us better understand our selves, our lives and our relationships.  There is a greater part of our minds that is working in mysterious ways while we sleep, and this can help us problem solve, form creative ideas, and even be a source of precognitive and telepathic information.  Many scientific discoveries and famous works of art have been conceived of in dreams.

In this workshop you will learn:
•    How to remember your dreams
•    How to ask for a dream regarding a specific topic
•    Tips for working with and understanding your own dreams
•    Some of the most common dreams and their meanings
Bring a dream if you have one you would like to share or ask about, however no sharing or dream recall is required.  Bring your questions and an open mind!

June 18th, 2013 by Mimi

Did you know that the heart has an electromagnetic field that can be measured outside of the body?

The Institute of HeartMath is doing some amazing research, and now they have this beautiful video as well (below).  The video illustrates how the electromagnetic field of the heart operates not only within us (in communication with our brain) but how it also extends to our connections and relationships with other people.  When we say we can feel someone’s energy (whether positive or negative), this is no longer a woo-woo-way-out concept.  It is now scientifically documented that the heart generates the largest electromagnetic field in the body, and that it extends beyond the physical body. If we can feel the electric shock of a little spark of static electricity, of course we can also feel the electrical field of another human being.  Some of us are more sensitive to this subtle field, empathic people are especially tuned in to it.  It can be a gift in understanding fellow human beings, and it is also important for empaths and highly sensitive people to learn how to not get overwhelmed by the fields of others.  One way of doing this is learning how to turn up your OWN electromagnetic field, and increase your own heart coherence. When we do this, we are less affected by the energy of others, while still holding the ability (even more so) to tune in and connect with them.

The Institute of HeartMath emphasizes the importance of heart-brain communication and coherence.  When our head and our heart are operating in synch, our electromagnetic field is more coherent, and our heart beat is actually more rhythmically consistent.  This contributes to increased health, and if you are into the Law of Attraction, this is how you influence and interact with the Quantum Field to manifest your desires and create positive relationships.

From the paper ‘The Energetic Heart’ (www.heartmath.org) “…a subtle yet influential energetic system operates just below our conscious level of awareness….this energetic system contributes to the ‘magnetic’ attractions or repulsions that occur between individuals.”  Yes, apparently attraction really is magnetic!  If someone has what we call a ‘magnetic’ personality, it seems that from this scientific perspective they might likely have a very strong electromagnetic field.

It used to be believed that emotions originated in the brain.  Now it is recognized that emotions are a result of  brain-body communication. So how do you get the head and the heart to work together?  One of my specialties in working with private clients is something known as parts therapy. If you’ve ever said ‘part of me wants to buy that car, but part of me wants to save the money’, or ‘part of me wants to loose weight, but part of me wants to eat that cake!’, you are aware (consciously or unconsciously) that we all have ‘parts’ within us.  When these parts are not in agreement we experience the feeling of inner conflict, which  translates energetically and electromagnetically to the heart-brain communication system operating at less than optimal coherence (coherence is the goal).  One of my favorite ways to facilitate a client session is to do parts therapy with the head and the heart. I also add the gut into the equation. That will be another article, as science is now also finding that the gut has it’s own nervous system and intelligence, and is the only organ in the body that can operate independently of the brain. Intuitively we’ve always known this, again I defer to linguistics (one of my other favorite topics!), as how many times do we use expressions like “I had a gut feeling” or “he felt sick to his stomach about it” or  “she had butterflies in her stomach”.   If you would like to book a head-heart-gut session to increase internal coherence, resolve inner conflict, and/or help in decision making, please contact me.

In the mean time I hope you enjoy this video. It shows a visual representation of how I have seen and felt the world since I was a small child. Finally it’s ok to talk about this stuff!

~Mimi

Screenshot

http://youtu.be/QdneZ4fIIHE

The Institute of HeartMath offers many interesting books and papers on their research. For more information visit: http://www.heartmath.org

May 30th, 2013 by Mimi

I’ve seen Dr. Daniel Amen on PBS, he is known for his work with brain scans.  And I love Teresa Caputo and her tv show ‘Long Island Medium’ (she is a medium, a very accurate one). I remember thinking “I wish that Amen guy could do a scan of Teresa’s brain”. Well guess what? They did! It happened on the Dr. Oz show. Finally, technology is catching up with ‘metaphysics’. You can watch the video of the show here:

http://www.doctoroz.com/episode/long-island-medium-inside-psychics-brain?video=19249

May 23rd, 2013 by Mimi

On Sunday (May 19, 2013) I took a nap, and had a dream about a TORNADO.  In the beginning of the dream I was in a house; my cell phone rang and it was a guy named John. The reception started breaking up and I looked out the window to see a tornado. I realized I had better take cover. I scrambled all over the house looking for a safe place to hide, but all the rooms had windows, even downstairs, and I couldn’t find a solid closed basement/concrete type room. Pretty soon I saw out a window that we were in the middle of the tornado. The next thing you know I am lying flat on my stomach, and the tornado ripped the house down. I felt shards of glass hitting my head and the wind was whipping my hair with an intense force. I had a coat on and wanted to pull my hood over my head but something told me it wasn’t over yet.  Sure enough, another blow came and completely tore the entire house down to nothing. I felt more glass shards hitting my head, more wind blasting my hair.
I woke up horrified. This dream seemed out of place with how I felt at the time.  It didn’t fit for regular interpretation, and usually I can get that pretty quickly.
I don’t usually watch the news, but tonight (Tuesday night) something made me tune in for a few minutes. I saw the devastation of the tornado that hit Oklahoma on Monday. Just like the dream I had on Sunday afternoon.
Scientists believe that precognitive dreams like this are actually a survival mechanism. If we lived in a tribe and someone had a dream like this, we might actually take it as a warning, and have more time to prepare  and get ourselves to safety.
The key is not to assume all bad dreams are warnings. I think this is why so many people are afraid of dreams; perhaps they have had a ‘warning’ dream, and then become afraid that any and all unpleasant dreams will actually happen. The truth is, all dreams are there to HELP us – whether to prepare us, warn us, or show us potential outcomes, or current life dynamics. Maybe we can’t stop a tornado, but we can do everything in our power to get to safety, and the more notice we have, the better. Other warning dreams may be of scenarios that are indeed preventable. It is important to listen to them, and start to recognize your own dreaming patterns. This one didn’t fit with my life at the time or seem to have a solid ‘interpretive’ value.  That is one clue that it might be an extra-ordinary dream.

May 22nd, 2013 by Mimi

A dreamer writes:
Hi, I had a dream and I was finding and picking coins in our town’s park in the evening. I was find and gathering 5 and 10 pesewas coins in a silver bowl, and I kept on finding more and more coins. As I got to middle right side of the park I had gathered a big jar half full of coins. I was getting more and 20 and 50 pesewas coins. It was getting dark. I was about to come home and go the next day to look for more coins when I woke up.
I am having some financial concerns at the moment, does this mean I will be coming in to some money soon?

Answer:
Dreams of finding money are often about self worth and discovering valuable resources within yourself. The fact that you were finding money, kept finding more, the values were increasing, and you were going to go back the next day to get even more are very positive signs of your ever increasing sense of self worth! It is likely that you are discovering more and more about yourself and your life that is valuable and worthy.
Since you mentioned financial concerns in the literal sense, perhaps this dream is pointing out to you that while economics may be tough right now, you have a lot to offer, and a lot of valuable resources within yourself.  Is it possible that the dream is an omen of a financial windfall? Anything is possible, certainly – especially with dreams!  But rather than banking on that, I would recommend that you take action in your waking life to do your best to protect yourself financially.  This dream may be a reminder to help you to do that.  Since dreams are often symbolic, look at the money in the dream as representative of self worth, and the discovery of resources within yourself, and how you can use those to attract more of what you value into your life. That may mean actual money, but remember to also keep focus on what you find truly valuable beyond the material.
~Mimi

May 14th, 2013 by Mimi

A dreamer writes:
I had a dream that I was home and it was really dark. There were two tiny frogs in my house, a light brown-greenish frog and a black one.  I got a bottle and tried to put them in it, and when I did they start drowning. I got scared and took them out.  However when the green-brown one was supposed to come out, a huge grasshopper came out instead. I got scared (and slightly disgusted) and my dad came and stepped on it.  Once he was dead, I got a crab tank and put them there with a little bit of water and they swam happily for a little.  But then it became too little so I got a fish tank and put them in there instead. I think they grew but I don’t remember. Once I saw they were swimming peacefully, and not drowning,  I woke up.

Answer:
Animals in dreams often represent precious and tender parts of ourselves.  If I were working with you 1:1 I would ask you what do frogs represent to you?  Dreams are metaphors, so if we look at the symbolic version of the story, it seems like there is something or someone or some part of yourself that you are trying to protect (represented by the frogs). It might feel scary at times (like in the dream) but ultimately you are able to find safety and peace – this is excellent! The positive resolution shows your psyche’s ability to take care of yourself.
Let me know if this helps, If you want to pursue it further I offer private phone consultations.
~Mimi

May 14th, 2013 by Mimi

A dreamer writes:
I had a dream last night and I’m not sure of the true meaning.  In the beginning of the dream, I was pregnant and was spending time with my boyfriend watching movies and having a nice time.   Time progresses and I have the baby (a boy) and my boyfriend and I are really happy and I realize that we decided not to tell our family members until he was born and I decided to post it on Facebook (random, right?)  Both of us are close to our families so I’m not sure why it was hidden from them, or why i felt anxious to share the news or why i was even dreaming about being pregnant?  I felt attached the the baby and the room was white and he was wrapped in a blue blanket in a soft cradle.
My boyfriend and I both want kids but after we get married and it would be in a few years (and i’m not pregnant). This is the first time a dream had felt truly real in a long time and left me with an inkling of something missing or unknown.
I may be reading way to much into this but all day when i have tried to shrug it off i just kept feeling like a void that needs answers.

Answer:
In general, and on a symbolic level, dreams of pregnancy and babies represent new beginnings. Since you and your boyfriend both actually want children and plan to be married, there are a couple ways to look at this dream:
1) On a symbolic level, is there something new that you and your boyfriend are starting, that your families don’t know about? Try to get out of the literal aspect of the dream and think generally, asking yourself:  “is there something that my boyfriend and I are keeping private for now, that we are not sharing with our families?”
Then there is another level to look at dreams….
2) Is it precognitive?  Dreaming is the #1 place that any kind of precognitive (that means you dream it before it happens) or psychic activity is known to take place. Is this dream a glimpse of the future? Only time will tell, that is not my role to say. But what is your sense? Do you feel like this was a premonition? If you have a strong gut sense, then that may be the case. I always like to explore the layers – dreams are mysterious and fascinating that way. So I’m not calling any predictions but ask your intuition what fits, and if this void you are feeling is an awareness of something yet to come.
I hope this helps,
~Mimi

May 14th, 2013 by Mimi

A dreamer writes:
last night i had a dream which i only remember a tiny bit of that my boyfriend was stressed and throwing up and he was pretty much all over the place in terms of stress and in the dream i just kept comforting him telling him everything is going to be okay. the thing is my boyfriend is going through quite a stressful time right now in which hes kind of scared about whats going to happen (and it has nothing to do with me being pregnant) and i know that hes been throwing up quite a bit. and i just feel helpless because i cant do much about it but just be there for him. so what does my dream actually represent?

Answer:

Have you heard of something called Couvade Syndrome?  It is when a man develops ‘sympathy symptoms’ of a woman’s pregnancy. I don’t know, but I wonder if this has something to do with his throwing up – in waking life, not just the dream?
Also, there are different types of dreams. The dreams we have during R.E.M. (rapid eye movement) are story like, and often don’t seem to make sense to the logical mind. Then in between R.E.M. cycles we have more what can be referred to as ‘sleep thinking’, which is more of a processing of every day life things. So I wonder if this dream might fall into that category, since you describe it as pretty true to life.
I hope your boyfriend can find some relief to his stress. Is he reaching out for any support, such as counseling, a clergy, or friends he can talk to about whatever is causing the stress?
I hope this helps,
~Mimi

May 14th, 2013 by Mimi